


just keep swimming

by herima



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: Angst, Best Friends to Lovers, Comedy Club, ED-E is Amari’s baby!, F/M, Finding Purpose, Mutual Pinning, Possible Drug Abuse, Romance, Slow Burn, The Gang - Freeform, Will update as story progresses - Freeform, possible alcohol abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:40:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 37,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25853017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herima/pseuds/herima
Summary: A courier wakes up with a bad case of amnesia and tries to find her purpose in this post-apocalyptic wasteland.
Relationships: Craig Boone - Relationship, Craig Boone/Female Courier, Craig Boone/Original Female Character
Comments: 20
Kudos: 12





	1. goodsprings

**Author's Note:**

> i’ve been pulled back into my fallout new vegas addiction and (i’ve always played without companions) this is my first time ever having companions this play through and i (have diff saves for diff companions). But ofc ED-E is always by my side. I rlly have fallen in love with this grumpy doofus and my OC. I hard ship themmmm. Anyway enjoy this is lit me enjoying myself and i hope u can enjoy with me :))

All she remembered was the feeling, that pit growing in her stomach, heart pounding in her chest as the inevitable was about to come. 

“Just get it over with!” The fiery red-headed man had the jitters and was looking everywhere for any possible witnesses on a midnight stroll. 

The suave man in an ugly checkered suit snapped at the man. She’d zoned out the things he was saying, her tongue caught as she tried looking for ways to get away. It was really over. For what? A fucking poker chip? 

Then it went black with a loud bang. 

It was strange. Ceasing to exist. The taste of death was empty. Slumber. If you could truly call it that. 

Then she saw a light. Maybe there truly was a light at the end of life. She decided to go towards, chased it, and chased it till she leaped into it. Maybe finally she’d be at peace. 

All she saw in that peace was... 

_ A ceiling fan?  _

_ Guess I’m not dead yet.  _

_ Wait. _

Last thing she remembered was being shot down and quickly recalling those events she went to stand onto her feet but quickly sat back down due to the quiver in her legs that retaliated her want to move, and it sent her right back onto the bed on her ass. She’d felt like her balance was totally off and was going to fall back onto the bed and probably off it even, but a pair of hands had steadied her before she could do so. 

“Woah, easy there, easy!” Once her eyes had completely adjusted and her vertigo settled she looked to an older man, maybe late forties. But was already greyed up. Stress. 

“You been out cold for a couple days now.” Couple days. No wonder she couldn’t stand properly at first. “Let’s take it slow. Get your bearings first.” The man had lulled over his thoughts before continuing, “I’m Doc Mitchell, maybe we could start with a name? Can you remember your name?” his voice was soft and clear. She’d heard what he said but she was feeling frustrated. Every time she tried to remember something a painful buzz would dull in her mind. 

Ah right.

“Amari. I don’t have a last name.” Amari noticed she was in a medical gown and looked at the bandages round her wrists and realized how light her head felt, confused like it should feel heavier. “Well.. Can’t say that’s what I would’ve picked for you but if that’s your name.. That’s your name,” Doc reached down to grab a mirror. 

“I had to do some rootin’ round your noggin there, so tell me.. how’d I do?” When the mirror had lifted up to her face she felt absolutely mortified. There was a scar along her hairline. But it was clean and precise. Scalped cleanly. At least his stitch work was clean. 

She’d placed a hand on her head and just about almost screamed when she realized she was buzzed. Amari couldn’t remember what kind of hair she even had prior. But she knew she felt ugly, enough to almost threw the mirror back at Doc Mitchell. 

“Sorry miss. I had to do what I had to do to get them bullets out and stitch you up. You’ve got a lot of thick hairs on your head. Got in the way. So I did what I must. I sincerely apologize. I know women don’t feel very.. Womanly, with a buzzed head.” Amari had a deep set frown but shook her head, of course she couldn’t be mad. She was alive at the very least. 

“No, thank you.. I’m alive.. That’s more important than style,” she tried to smile but it looked more hurt than anything as she handed the mirror back to him. “You did a good job thank you.” 

“Thank you miss. Now why don’t we get you on over here, give the vigor tester a try. We’ll learn right quick if you got all your faculties back.” Amari had taken a slow walk over to the Vito-matic Vigor Tester. 

Once she was done filling it out he stood astonished. 

“Well I’ll be.. Maybe them bullets did something good to your head.” Amari was piecing things back together when it came to her knowledge. Doc told her she may remember things more as the days pass, and not to frustrate herself with trying to remember things. 

Then came some basics like: height, weight, allergies, race. 

“Should I just put Asian? Or.. Well.. Shucks.. What do you think?” He was bouncing around the question. 

“I just know my mother was African American, and my father was Asian. I think they..” She scrambled a little in her mind as she tried to think of where she came from, who her parents were. Where they were. “That’s.. Thats all I can remember, when I try to think further back its like radio static in my mind.” Amari sighs fiddling with her hands

“It’s alright. Things may come back with time, they may not. Don’t focus too much on it. I’ll put mixed.” 

He decided to change back to the prior subject. “Well, you’re doing way better than I expected you to upon waking up. How about I go fetch you some clothes to change into so the town folk don’t make of you for being indecent.” He laughs as he enters his bedroom leaving her in the bathroom. He’d come back with her knapsack, “I hope you don’t mind but I had gone through your things to see if I could find any relatives, or medical history.. Just found a note about a delivery for some chip and your personal items.” She gave him a smile as she took the knapsack and softly shut the bathroom door, before heaving a sigh as she pulled out the clothes he’d handed her. A Vault 21 suit. Interesting. Must’ve been his wifes in the photo she’d seen on his desk. 

On the way out he’d given her some medical supplies, and a Pip-Boy3000. Even told her to go talk to some girl in the Saloon to help her get back on track. The Pip-boy proved very useful in keeping track of her vitals, radiation exposure, and other things she’d found out after tinkering around with it as she walked down the hill further into town. 

As she was walking though her line of sight was cut off by a large shadow, of course the Pip-Boy lit up upon a shadow being detected, but she’d looked up to find a huge robot in her way with a stereotypical cowboy on the screens interface. 

“Howdy Partner!” 

_ What the fuck.. _

“Uh.. hi.. Oh right you’re the one that saved me huh?” She started and the robot did a little roll back and forth and startled her to step back a bit. 

“Sure did! And might I say you’re looking fit as a fiddle.” 

“Thank you....” Amari trailed off looking for a name. She’d forgotten what Mitchell had said what their name was. 

“Victor!” 

“Right.. Anyways, thank you for helping me, I’ve gotta get going.” 

“Happy trails!”  _ Yeesh. _

After she’d finished helping Sunny with clearing up the towns water supply, she was about to get ready to head toward a town south of Goodsprings. But not before she had stocked up on some food and water for the trip. 

“Either you hand over Ringo, or me and my boys are gonna come back and blow this fuckin’ town to bits.” 

Amethyst saw the letters on his back. 

** NCRCF **

The smallest flash of memory had hit her. She remembered walking past a facility. But the when didn’t click. Nor did she even know if it was where he came from.

Before she knew it he’d ran out the door looking scared. His words defied his own emotions. Weirdo. 

“I’m gonna see if I can talk to him.” Amari declares after fixing up Trudys radio. 

“I don’t think he wants any actual problems. I think his ego got hit hard so now he wants to do some crazy stuff like start with a town.” 

“You’re real observant young lady. And thanks for the radio here’s some caps for your trouble hon.” Amari smiled back at the probably not much older woman and made her way down the road after asking Easy Pete if he’d seen where the man had went. 

He was leaned up against a broken down house smoking a cigarette calmly, but when he’d spotted Amari he tensed up. 

“I’m just here to talk.” 

“Ringo is gonna turn himself to us?” 

“I think you know what I came here to say.” Amari folded her arms over her chest. 

“You just busted out of prison, and now you want to assault people and for what? A few caps Ringo didn’t wanna pay up? I bet your men weren’t asking very nicely either. Anybody would’ve defended themselves. I’m sure he shot because his life was threatened.” Amari brought it back to the prison part. “Say you do what you wanna do. You kill Ringo. Take over a town. Then what? You’re gonna have the NCR breathing down your necks within a week for your crimes and they’ll be throwing you in somewhere you can’t get out. The grave.” 

That seemed to work well on Joe and it was clear in his face. “You’re right. i should just stick to the basic shit—“ 

“Or you could have the Powder Gangers be known for something else. At least your Powder Gangers.” 

“Whatever kid.” As Joe Cobb had ran off most likely than not returning to the facility or his camp. She wondered if she’d ever see him again. 

“So, he just.. Up and left?” Ringo was dumbfounded as he sat at the bar with the rest of some townsfolk. 

“Yup.” Amari popped the ‘p’ as she downed the rest of her beer. 

“Here. This isn’t really my money to be giving away, but I’ll give you more at the Crimson Caravan if you stop by. I’ll never forget what you did for me. Silver tongued lady.” Amari morally did it for the whole town and to repay the Doc for helping her. But she didn’t correct him. 

“Where’re you headed after this Amari?” Trudy inquires. 

“Primm. Hopefully there I’ll find some answers.” 


	2. primm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> amari stumbles upon nipton. too late to help and makes odd conversation before heading into novac

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi i ended up finishing this pretty early- i already have four chapters already written since I’m having a lot of fun with this and playing the game as i go. it’s been v fun

Amari was rolling over a body inside the Bison Steve Hotel, collecting some more ammo off the convicts body when she found a key. 

She was supposed to be rescuing some Deputy Beagle, but why in the hell would a Deputy need saving? That was unbeknownst to her. 

And since when was she a crack shot? 

She’d found that out after entering Primm and being sneaked up on by some convicts. Her quickdraw even scared them before they ate bullets to bed. 

Amari couldn’t remember being _that_ good with a gun, but the muscle memory was strong. 

Even the way she holstered it surprised her. Though she quickly threw away the breaking weapon after she found a beautifully carved piece of beautiful Magnum in a safe she blew open with dynamite. 

After she had gotten rid of the convicts in the mess-hall after using her smarts and just shooting the tank of the incinerator on the backside of one of the men, it burst the three into flames and brought a man sitting beside the Deputy running out of the room and straight into her iron sights. 

_ Bunch of idiots. How the hell did he get captured? _

_How the hell did he get titled Deputy?!_

“I’m guessing _you’re_ the Deputy?” She asks as she begins looting the First Aid Kit behind the man who just had his arm blown off. 

“I- Uhm yeah! Yeah that’s me- They send for you to rescue me?” 

“Yeah.” Amari was deciding whether or not to take empty syringes with her to make more stimpacks with. 

“So- you gonna untie me or-?” 

“Yeah. After you answer some questions for me.” In all honesty Amari was tired and annoyed that she needed to rescue an idiot for answers. Goodsprings is a different story. 

“You see a man in a checkered-suit come through here? Mr. Nash said he did but he said he didn’t hear any whereabouts. Just had eyes on the lot.” Amari noticed a pretty head wrap on a table. Clean. She decided to wear it to cover the god awful scarring on her head. Nice color too. 

“You hear where they were going?” 

“My lady I would _love_ to indulge you in these facts with some fresh air and my hands and feet circulating again!” Amari pitied him a little and helped him to his feet. 

“Alright, fine, I already took care of the convicts inside.” And with that he sped off in a crouched hurry. The sight made Amari strangle herself to hold in her laugh long enough until he was out of earshot. 

_ He was a goddamn character. _

Beagle had done what he promised and was waiting for her outside. In doing so he told her about what happened in Primm and how he was on a stealth mission skulking in the shadows waiting to attack the convicts. That didn’t work out obviously. She pick-pocketed a holotape off him while she was freeing him and played it back and absolutely died laughing next to the inside the hotel after he stalked off of course. 

He brought up something about having some law being put back into Primm and quite frankly Amari didn’t have the time nor patience to do this for him. But she did anyway and offered to help get a ex-sheriff in town.

After speaking with Lt. Hayes in one of the tents across from Primm he spoke about an outpost on the way to Nipton to get the ex-convict a pardon to become sheriff. And said they’d ham radio it over. It wasn’t too out of the way so it worked out just fine for her tastes. 

Though she needed rest and some food in her stomach before anything and the Nash Residence was kind enough to let her stay in their home on a bedroll on the ground and even fed her a radscorpion casserole for her good deeds. 

As she was eating she noticed the eyebot on the counter, and Mr. Nash had noticed her lingering eyes. 

“You can take a look at it. I got it working once but then it just shut down on me. Haven’t got it working since.” he sighs, “Was gonna have it do some courier work. But that ain’t work out to well.” Nash says remembering the courier that had brought it in, the same one that got shot outside. Sad. 

“ _If_ you get it working you can have it. If not I’d say bring it to Gibson’s Scrap Yard North of a small town Novac.” 

Amari at first didn’t know what she was looking at but the longer she looked the faster her hands moved along the eyebots tech and before she knew it by sunrise it was up and running. Beeping excitedly as it whizzed up in the air a little bit above Amaris eye level. 

“Hey... ED-E? How about Ed?” It must’ve liked the name since it beeped in a happy tune. 

“Can you talk?” It made a sad tune.

_ Maybe I could hook up the Mojave’s radio frequencies and have it use musical lyrics to speak. Or make a headset that can interpret his beeps. Or! _

_ Wait. _

“I just.. Fixed you..” Amari was absolutely dumbfounded in the moment, though her moment was over when Mrs. Nash had stepped out of the bedroom and noticed the young lady still awake. 

“Oh my— Did you stay up all night tinkering!” 

“I-I did.. I hope it didn’t wake you-“ 

“Nonsense. Its beeping wasn’t too loud.” The antennas all around it. She’d have to look into its functions. 

But she was already a day behind schedule.

She needs answers. 

The walk to the Mojave Outpost was long, but it felt even longer due to the burning heat on her as they walked. 

Having Ed was a whole different ball game now. They seemed to have a large network built in to their system that allowed them to not only play radio, but pick up on frequencies in the area if close enough. Though as much as Amari was excited to divulge into Ed’s functions their radio playing and beeping attracted attention of some people that referred to themselves as the Viper Gang. 

“Okay Ed for now let’s have some radio silence.” It wasn’t a huge shoot out but it was definitely something. 

When they finally made it to the Outpost she made it her business to sell the junk those gang members were carrying on them along with some of the clothing they were wearing since caps bought her food, water, and ammunition. It seemed having a full stock of ammo was going to be hard out hard out there. 

The closer Amari and Ed got to Nipton the thicker the air felt, and the higher the hairs on her back stood. Something wasn’t sitting right in her stomach and she couldn’t tell if it was the Iguana bits she had or not. 

After rounding a corner and brushing off some nut-job the blazing fire and people on stakes came into view, all of a sudden something flashed in her memory causing her to painfully grab at her head as a migraine flashed past her eyes. Ed had done that beep they do when something was moving in on them, but Amari was too busy handling the waves of the migraine. 

“Don’t worry. I won’t have her lashed like these degenerates.” The man says more to Ed who looked to be aiming their laser at the crimson man. It didn’t seem to settle Ed though. 

“What happened here?” She managed to say as her eyes finally adjusted. 

“The time of their comeuppance had finally arrived. Drug addicts, whores, and all the likes of bottom-feeders came here, or were housed here. NCR soldiers even. But we cleansed them all. Made a show of what happens to profligates when they stray too far from the light.” Amari noted how eloquent he spoke and it both surprised her and made her realize he may not be just an idiot with a machete like the rest. 

“Uhuh.” Ed was still kind of in the way of her face, but she supposed it was a good thing. Who knows if they’d try and track her down to make her a slave too. 

“And now you will pass on the message of this town. That we will be coming for more of these weak and profligate filled towns. We are coming.” 

“So.. Y’know you’re so eloquent when you speak, but I’d prefer some paraphrasing. In short I guess I’ll say, ‘Hey some guys with dogs on their heads burned down Nipton cause they were bored.’ How’s that?” 

“Et faciet futurum?(You dare mock) Maybe I should—“ The man growled stepped more in Ed’s face to get to Amari’s 

“Non est verisimile voluisse quam illudere derisum dedisti.”(I cannot mock your mockery) She was quick-witted and The wolfgang was very much taken back by her response and— Laughed. Amari wouldn’t call it laughing though it looked like he was happy and was about to take a chunk out of her neck. 

_ Where the fuck did that come from?! _

“I like you. Almost enough to make me want to take you. Educated and clearly smart with your hand-made friend. Vale. I feel our paths will cross again soon.” 

Did she just get out of having to do someone’s dirty work  and  almost made herself a goddamn slave all in one conversation. Amari realized he hadn’t asked her name when he stopped in his tracks and turned back. 

_ He must’ve remembered that too. _

This time her face was in full view since Ed had already went off to scan the men on crosses. 

“May I know this _almost_ worthy profligates name?” 

That’s when her brain started to malfunction and she used ED-E’s nickname. “Ed.” She said it so well he would’ve believed her too if he hadn’t been so observant. 

“I asked for  _ yours _ , not your companions.” Perceptive little asshat. 

“Sunny.” Okay that’s works too. 

“How fitting.” 

Without another word the man went off with his men, seeming to be the leader of the pack. She’d waited till they were outta sight, outta mind. And that’s when she realized she was holding breath since she gasped for air so desperately trying to calm her nerve. 

The dog-headed man was so close to her face. Even with the goggles on her felt him eyeing everything about her. She hoped this encounter wouldn’t bite her deep in the ass later and throw her back into a shallow grave. Thinking of that brought shivers up her spine. 

The sun was on its way down on her way to Novac, and it didn’t help dumbass lackies tried to ambush her in the valley. Amari didn’t need Ed to know there were idiots nearby when she noticed a terribly placed proximity mind under street cones. Though from that ambush she’d snagged herself more handfuls of dynamite and a grenade launcher. 

_ More likely to sell then use the grenade launcher. _

She’d rounded a corner when a simple dressed caravan looking man had grabbed her. Ed didn’t think they were a threat! No crimson or malice in-sight! 

“Vulpes Inculta would like to speak to you.” Amari had done what her muscles said and went rag doll in the mans bear hug as he pressed the cloth harder onto her face. “Accept the call to Vulpes!” Just when she thought going rag doll was all her body wanted she used all her might into ejecting herself straight up like a missile. Head butting the man straight in the nose causing him to stumble and reach for his machete instead. 

“I suppose he won’t mind a roughed up profligate. I’ll break you in for him.” Too focused on catching her breath and trying not to pass out from the drugs Ed charged their shot, but was beat to the finish line as the agents brains splattered like trail mix on the ground after the following boom of a bullet flying had clapped the sky. 

The sound made her take cover behind a broken down pre-war vehicle as ED-E assessed the shot. After beeping positively she came out from her cover squinting to try and find where the sniper had been. 

Then a voice came out from above-

_The dinosaur? Clever_. 

“Up here! You alright Miss?” 

“Yes!” God she was so sweaty and nerve wracked after that and kept looking both ways before crossing like as though some car would actually turn the damned corner. 

“Thank you!” 

“Welcome.” Oh she didn’t need to be yelling man wasn’t that far from the ground. 

After they both waved each other off she headed inside the main lobby, spoken to some weird looking lady that gave her the creeps and wondered if it was just because she was god-awfully ugly. 

_ Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  _

_ My bald-headed ass can’t judge. _

“How much for a room?” She’d asked while eyeing the oddly placed rug in the corner behind her desk area. 

“100 caps. You can have it till we start getting busy with travelers.” That didn’t sound too bad. 

“Thank you Miss....?” 

“Crawford. Jeannie May Crawford. But Ms. Crawford is just fine.” Amari nodded at that. 

“So, Ms. Crawford.. Seen any characters come through Novac? Like a checkered-suit fellow? And some spikey haired men?” She said trying her damnedest to remember as much details about the men as possible. 

“I did, some men that fit the description. They stayed here for a bit. That checkered-suited man was snobby and rude. The others I can’t help you on. Go up to the top of the dinosaur and speak to Manny our sniper. I think I might’ve seen him talking to the fellers.” 

“Thanks. I’ll do just that.” Amari swiped the room key off the counter and headed out. First talk then sleep. “Hey Eddie you mind waiting for me in the room?” They beeped in a good tone so she took that for a yes and opened the door for them before heading to the dinosaur. 

Inside though she met a clerk and got distracted with selling the stuff that attacker had on him and some knick knacks. But what caught her eye was that gun. Literally _‘That Gun’_. It was a good size and was a five shooter that took 5.56mm bullets. She found plenty of those. But she already had her _Lucky_ 3.57mag she found back in Primm. Maybe later she’ll come back just to own it. Never can have an extra revolver. 

_ Maybe I’ll start a collection.  _

Then the migraine hit harder than last one. She needed sleep first, almost two days awake doesn’t help. 

Amari had knocked out once she had put her head on a pillow and was under some sheets only after washing to the best of her ability with what was available- the grime of the dust from the walk of Primm to Nipton, and the dried up blood on her skull before wrapping her head wrap back on, placing her motorcycle helmet on the side table. 

**_ “You’re crying in the rain pally.”  _ **

ED-E had been doing what they were told and were keeping watch. Watching as the man they knew Amari needed to speak to and saw him leave and switch places with the man. Every so often ED-E had turned around hearing Amari constantly sleep-talk making them think she’d finally woken up. 

**_ “Maybe Khans(?)Cons kill people without looking them in the face. But I ain’t a fink. Dig?” _ **

But this time there was stirring and much louder whines that worried ED-E. They turned their full attention to their new friend. Buzzing worriedly. 

_** “Truth is? Game was rigged from the start.”  ** _

The dream felt so real she’d woken up in a hurry. Clutching at her head as memories started flooding. The feelings coming back. The twitches her body had down as they covered her in dirt shallowly too lazy to really cover her. Probably expecting the locals to finish the job. The rawed out feeling of her throat as she made unintelligible groans trying to make words as she weakly moved as much as she could before her body had went into shock and shut everything down to conserve her energy. Amari didn’t fear death but that. That was pure agony. 

“ _< Worried beeps>_”

No, no not yet. 

“Eddie?” Amari took in her surroundings clutching at her night gown she found inside a wardrobe hard enough to wrinkle the smooth fabric. 

“ _< Belated beeps.>_”  She smile’s at ED-E and gave them a pat on the their interface. “Thanks buddy..” After shakily getting dressed she remembered she had to still speak to the man in the dinosaur and it was already quite possibly midnight. 

“I gotta get to talking to the guy. I’ll be back fast Ed,” 

Upon opening the door she realized the man from before, Cliff, hadn’t been inside and puffed her cheeks up with air as she climbed the steps to talk to the man. Once she’d entered the room though she met a semi-hostile man inside. 

“God dammit! Don’t sneak up on me like that.” They both flinched at each other. 

She didn’t expect a sniper to be so jumpy. 

“What are you doing up here?” 

“I.. Was told I could speak to you.. About some people I’m looking for.” Boone perked up at that. She was from out of town. He realized she must’ve thought he was Manny. 

“Hm. I think you’re looking for Manny, Im not him. Most likely he’s sleeping now.” oh.

“Oh that weird lady said the sniper would be up here. Didn’t mention two snipers.” She murmurs 

“Anyway. Why’re you so jumpy- You expecting someone?” Amari inquires with a lifted brow, titling her head a little as she asked since he was rather tall. 

“I think you should go.” 

“Uh- I- Was just asking, you seem stressed sorry. I’ll just wait for that Manny guy.” Amari went to leave but he stopped her. 

“ _Wait_. Don’t go not yet.” Amaris eyebrows raised in shock now at the sudden change of attitude. He looked a little- desperate. Like he needed help. 

“You need help?..” 

“ My wife is dead. I want the son of a bitch who set it up.” He puts his rifle on his back and folds her arms. Eyes filled with disdain as he averts them from her and back. Some midnight investigation then. 

“How do you—?” 

“I just know okay? Leave it at that.” She didn’t pry any further. Amari could tell he must’ve either seen it before his eyes or was told. 

“What should I do when I find them?” 

“Bring them out in front of the dinosaur and.. And wear my beret.” He says removing it and handing it to her. She didn’t like the beret since it would expose her head but whatever she supposed. “Oh and don’t come back here till it’s done.” With that she left and started her investigation. 

Of course she ended up going to speak to No-bark. He just looked like he knew something about something. Even his little self-dialogue would let anybody know he knew something. Despite his funny way of telling her what he’d seen on the day Carla got taken, she pieced it together well and understood what he meant. Though he didn’t give her names and that didn’t help with the narrowing. 

Amari had even spoken to a Ranger who was still awake at this hour. Must’ve been his body still used to being awake at these hours she’d thought at least. In the end of their little conversation he’d ended up showing her a Ranger takedown just for being kind and getting him out of that sunken mindset that kills people. 

She’d definitely visit in the future to see how he was doing. If she was still breathing that is. 

After having already spoken to most people that were up she’d remembered that odd placed rug. Checking if the main lobby’s door was locked she entered and found a safe under the rug. 

_ How inconspicuous. _

It didn’t take her long to figure out a combination and had already started rummaging through the safe and found the contents of a bill inside. Upon opening it on her Pip-Boy she gasped to herself. Complete disgust and gut wrenching anxiety all at once bubbling up inside her. 

Carla Boone. And an unborn child sold. Payment pending depending on the child’s gender. _Fucking hell_. 

Jeannie May Crawford. 

She quickly ran to the woman’s house. Knocking calmly on the door. 

“There’s some men looking for you something about _caps_ they owed you for a hotel room a while back?” Jeannies eyes light up at that. Payment. 

“Oh my thank you young lady.” 

“There’re over by the bridge in front of the dinosaur.” She says walking side by side with her. Trailing behind her as they neared the spot so she could slip the beret on. 

When Jeannie realized the men were no where to be found she turned to Amari and went wide eyed at the sight of her with a beret on and a fat smirk. Not just any beret. But Boone’s. And he was the last thing she never saw coming as her brains splattered all over the wastelands grounds. Amari decided to throw her body off to the side to rot in the sun and get snacked on by the crows. 

As she finished moving the body she heard Boone’s voice and physically had to hold in laughter, but failed and snickered to herself instead behind her hand. “I’d like my beret back now.” he’d said. 

“I’m on my way.” She says as she notices the sun peaking over the horizon to say hello to their star crossed lover. That saying was from somewhere or someone but she couldn’t remember. 

“So.. How’d you know?” He took the beret back and put it back on his head with a sigh. 

“Bill of Sale.” She went into her Pip-Boy and showed it to him on her arm, watching his jaw clenched and eyebrows knit tighter the longer he read. 

“It’s like them to keep something like that I suppose..” 

“Do you want it?” 

“ _No_. Throw it away. Or something.” He said it as though she insulted his existence while running a hand over his scruff. 

“So what now?..” 

“I can’t stay here.  Won’t  stay here. Not after this.” He winces as everything kinda hits him all at once. She agrees mentally. Amari couldn’t stay another day near the grave she tried to crawl out of. 

“You an outlaw now?” Boone frowns, “No. I guess I’ll wander like you.” Oh right. Amari forgot she was just a wanderer really. Waiting to enact revenge on dickheads. 

“You could always come with me? Those dog hat wearers aren’t my favorites either.” Boone almost laughed at that. Almost. 

“You mean the Legion.” Amari nods her head. “Yes. The Legion. I’ve.. I’ve seen what they do to people. Nipton was wiped off the map. I wanna do something to stop something like that from happening again . .” her face scowled like she’d tasted something sour. Something about what she said tasted familiar and she didn’t like that taste one bit. 

“That’s a death sentence.” 

“Yeah. A death sentence alone. Snipers work in pairs. Just so happens we have the best possible spotter ever. I’ll introduce you to them if you join up. They’ll never see us coming.” 

“ _Fine._ Let’s get outta here.” 

“I gotta uhm. Talk to that Manny guy first though. Maybe wait in my room or something? Eddie will be in there. I’ll be quick.” Boone narrowed his eyes. She was traveling with another man?

_ Oh. _

“You Eddie?” Boone suddenly says after sitting in silence for a little with ED-E in her motel room. 

“ _ <Affirmative beeps> _ ” He guessed that was a yes. 

Suddenly, Amari came through the door. ”Boulder City. He said we might be able to catch up to them if we leave now. Let’s get going.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope u enjoyed :)


	3. forgiving, favors, and ptsd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> amari catches up with the khans that helped benny and finds only one of them is still kicking. and when put on the path of the killer she makes a new friend and meets new people to the strip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a p lengthy chapter so u may wanna grab a lil snack for yourself :) i hope u enjoy how I’m writing boone i rlly wanna get it right BUT write my own dialogue for my own touch.

“What’s a First Recon soldier doing with a... Mercenary and a robot?” The soldier didn’t want to be disrespectful and just addressed the woman he’d just seen as a merc. 

“I’m retired.” Boone says crossing his arms over his chest. 

“I see.. It wouldn’t have happened to been right after Bitter-Springs? We he a lot of good men leave after that day. Some honorable some dishonorable discharges.” The Lieutenant sighs with a head shake. “Can’t believe—“ 

“That isn’t something I wanna discuss with a man I don’t know.” It came out as a threat more than anything, but the man understood his frustrations. The Lt. hadn’t been there for it but he had a friend that was. They’re taking therapy because of it. That regret. _Guilt._

Boone wouldn’t dare go to therapy. He didn’t need it. At least that’d what he thought. Anybody wounded would say they don’t _need_ help. There was no way he’d ever speak about it. How it made him feel, he was supposed to be a protector. And all he was that day was a blind murder bot. The regrets of that day consumed him even more when he met Carla. 

“What the fuck-?! You’re that courier Ben put a bullet in-“ Jessup’s face was clear with regret. Who’d ever think a person would literally _eat_ a bullet to the head and not die. 

“Nooo, I’m a ghost here to fuckin’ haunt youu,” Amari rolled her eyes as she said that resisting the urge to just waste him. 

“Jesus- Cut that shit out!” Amari couldn’t believe that actually somewhat scared him. “Ugh, shut up. Where’s my package?” 

“Benny took it. Fuckin’ wasted my best friend for it.” That explained the awful smell of a rotting body. 

“Why’d you do it?” The question was more toward why they agreed to help some cold-blooded man in the first place. 

“We needed the money. Ever since Bitter-Springs we’ve been struggling with helping our young and sick. That and the Legion keeps capturing our people right under us-“ The dog men. 

“Who’ve they been taking?” Amari could tell he wasn’t lying. He really was just desperate for caps for his people. 

“The young mostly. Even the boys. They take them to make them into soldiers and our young girls for- for _grooming_.” Ama cringed at the words but she knew he’d rather say that then anything else. 

“How do you not know about the things those sickos have been doing—? I don’t wanna talk about that shit-“

“Maybe I’d know if I didn’t get my brains scrambled by a fucking 9mm.” She seethed through her teeth taking a step forward with her hands crunching into fists. Even Jessup’s buddy had moved back. 

“Listen lady- I’m sorry- but not really- I think you understand what I mean by that. Benny, set us up. Told the NCR we would be taking camp in Boulder City to get us killed. That man is a sicko. He never cared to help the Khans get back on their feet. He only cared about the Chairmen’s and The Strip.” Amari would’ve asked who the Chairmen were but she guessed that was the group Benny was a part of. 

“How about we make a deal?” 

“A deal with someone I got killed?” Jessup sounded skeptical. She would too if she were him. 

Amari sighed. “Tell me where Benny was headed and I’ll see about making a deal with the NCR for you, I’d rather not see you guys get gunned down in cold blood because of the same man.” 

“We tried bribing already. They won’t budge.” 

“Uh- Yeah, well you guys have hostages. Did you forget you took hostages?” She almost laughed at him. 

“How about you let go of the hostages in turn for freedom?” 

“Whatever it takes- Just make sure the deal is confirmed. I don’t wanna walk outta here and get shot down in the back.” 

“Course.” As Amari went to leave Jessup spoke up, “Hey wait- Take this, it’s his lighter. Shove it up his ass when you see him.” 

“Will do.” 

After bringing the deal to the NCR they all agreed, and the hostages were let go. Now was letting the Khans walk out. 

“Uh- Hey lady, we got a bit of a problem. I just got orders to kill all Khans.” 

“Are you actually considering- Seriously? Haven’t they suffered enough? Let them go if you truly honored that deal.” 

“That’s going against orders. Can I really?— You know what yeah, I’m gonna tell my men to let them go.” 

Boone was about to speak up while they were walking to a trading post when loud crunches of dirt were heard behind them. ED-E hadn’t beeped with alert though so Amari didn’t worry none. 

“Hey! Hey lady!” Jessup. 

“Huh? What is it now?” 

“I never got your name.” 

_ Oh. Wait why would he—? _

“I need a name to know in case you visit Red Rock Canyon. So they let you in.” Jessup and his people were behind him nodding in agreeance. 

“Oh- Uh- Amari, my name is Amari.” Boone realized he’d never gotten her name either. This was the first he’d heard it.

“We won’t forget what you did for us Amari. Stop by when you get the chance.” 

A woman spoke up. “We usually don’t like letting in outsiders or NCR like your friend but your welcome in our books.” Amari just awkwardly smiled not really knowing what to say at the praise. 

“See you.” 

“Amari.” Amari had been deep in thought as the trio walked so when Boone had said her name she stopped walking, causing him to almost walk into her. 

Amari turned to face him. “Hm?” Boone shrugged. “You never told me your name so. Was just seeing if it really was your name and you didn’t just give those Khans a fake one.” _Oh._

“No, yeah that’s, that’s my name.” She huffed out some air as they setup at a table and began eating what the lady had offered for some caps. 

“I’ve never heard a name like that before. Amari. That doesn’t sound American.” A woman that had been standing idly watching the post had turned around upon hearing a weird buzzing sound, and once she’d spotted the eye-bot she immediately looked for the owner. 

“Hey lady, you the owner of that eye-bot?” Amari was shocked she knew it’s name. 

“Yeah.. Why?” Veronica hummed in thought. 

“You must be real smart huh. Where’d you learn to fix one?” Amari didn’t have an answer for her question. 

“I- I don’t feel comfortable answering that question.” Veronica took that as something else. 

“That’s alright, I’m Veronica by the way. What’s your name?”

“Amari.” Veronica nodded her head, “So, Amari I ran into this group called the Brotherhood Of Steel. What do you think about em?” 

The name sounded so familiar but she couldn’t put her tongue on it. But she somehow had an answer. “They’re smart people. But fear using their knowledge for anything. I think they hoard their knowledge cause they think everyone that isn’t Brotherhood is dumber than a mutant. I think they’re good people though, just have a hard time showing it.” Veronica seemed to like that answer cause she smiled and took a seat across from her, causing her to sit by Boone. 

“Huh. That’s literally what I think of em’ too. So, where’re you headed anyway? With an eye-bot and a frowny First Recon buddy by your side?” Amari likes her she was funny, got her to snort. Frowny Recon buddy. 

“We’re headed to The Strip. I have some business to take care of over there.” 

“Ooo, how fancy. You know what you’re the first person I’ve seen that looks like they can handle themself and has some brains. Mind if I join you?” 

Amari gave Veronica a good one over before asking, “So, what exactly do you bring to the table? No offense.” 

“None taken. That’s the look I was going for,” she says doing a hand motion over herself. 

_ So she looked innocent on purpose huh smart. _

“Smart.” Amari smiles, oh she definitely liked this one. 

“Alright let’s go then. Hope you’re good with that Power Fist.” Amari comments downing the rest of her Nuka-Cola. 

“Oh, I’m _real_ good with my fists. You won’t regret it Amari.” She shook Amari’s hand. 

“At least we have someone knowledgeable in hand-to-hand.” Boone comments and Veronica snapped her head to him comically. 

“He speaks?!” Veronica sounded dumbfounded and Amari spat out her soda on the dry Mojave ground.

After eating and restocking on ammo they were already close to The Strip and made a pit-stop when they’d spotted an Old Fort. Some lady had said something about The Followers of the Apocalypse in the trading post Veronica came from. 

“We could probably stay here. The Followers are known to be helpful.” 

“Alright. Let’s see about that.” Boone side comments with a grunt, clearly tired from the walk. They all were tired. Even ED-E sounded tired. 

But even though Amari was tired she didn’t wanna face it again. She hated how close sleeping felt to dying on that night. Though she felt she was close to passing out and didn’t wanna risk it. 

“You look out of it Amari-“ Veronica comments as they enter the fort. 

“Mmfine. Tired.” She yawns as they enter a tent a spikey haired woman told them was free. 

“Oo, bunk beds!”. Veronica comments trying to lighten the mood, “I call top bunk!” 

Amari had finally gotten close to falling asleep after tossing and turning the entire night, but by the time she’d fallen asleep she was waking up by ED-E’s song they liked to play at the ass crack of dawn. It made her groan in pure annoyance rubbing roughly at her tired eyes. 

Boone had been in a separate tent and was seen entering Veronica and Amari’s tent. “We should head out now, they’ve got injured coming in and they need the beds.” 

“Injured? What happened?” 

“Junkies. Probably fought over drugs.” Boone didn’t actually know so he made an educated guess.

“Well, we’ve got business to take care of anyways.” 

“Hey, word of advice don’t go past the Securitrons without doing a caps check.” 

“Huh. How much is the minimum?” 

“3,000 caps per person. Or, you show a passport.” Old Ben says and Amari groaned in annoyance. Of course something else is in the goddamn way. 

“Know where I can get a passport?” 

“Well. You can get one by being an NCR citizen or, get a favor from The King and he’ll help you out.” Old Ben says puffing on his cigarette. 

“The what?” Veronica laughs. 

“The King. He’s in that school there round the corner. He can help you out if you help him. That’s all I can offer for information.” 

“Thanks.” As Amari did a pivot to head toward the school Boone stopped them. 

“There’s a train that goes straight into The Strip from Camp McCarran. But, I don’t think they’ll let regular civilians on, but might have some leeway if I ask. That’s another possibility too.” That seemed liable. But a long walk that Amari was not into.

“Let’s just see what The King wants.” 

“Woah Mama. You look like you’ve seen the sorts.” A man named Pacer says towards Amari as they close towards the door where The King hopefully was. 

“Yeah. I have, anyway. Could I speak to The King?” Amari folds her arm and puts most of her weight on one leg. 

“Yeah. You can sweet mama. For a fee. 100 caps.” 

“You call me sweet mama, but charge me? That ain’t very gentlemen of you I thought we had something going..” Amari says and Veronica looks to Boone in surprise at the way she got the gangster to stumble on his words. 

“Oh! We do, we do. Go head on in. Come see me afterwards we can talk more little lady.” 

“Thanks hon.” After she walked on in she turned around to her companions and pointed a finger to her mouth and pretended to gag. Veronica giggled and Boone just side smirked. Deciding to wait by the door leaned on the wall with ED-E by his side. 

“Look Rexie someone’s come to see us, poor boy.. Anyway, how can I help you lady?” 

“I was hoping you could help me get three passports into The Strip.” 

“Hm. Maybe so, maybe so. If you could do me a favor I’d be willing to help. Some of my people in Freeside been attacked. I want you to look into it. Find out who did it.” 

“Oh! Lou.. They said, ‘Hey Lou we gotta go!’.. Lou.. Lou Tenant! Yeah. Hope that helps.” 

“I think you mean Lieutenant, Wayne. God. The boy means well but I swear he’s dumb as a mutant.” The other man says causing Ama and Veronica to laugh as they leave the tent. 

“NCR attacked the citizens, he was identified by rank.” 

“I ain’t wanna believe the NCR was preppin’ to take over The Strip. But I guess so. I want you to look into where them soldiers is hiding. Ask round the squatters areas or maybe Julie Farkas down in the Old Fort.” 

“No problem. I’ll speak to Julie about it.” 

Amari and Veronica had spoken to Julie and found out that the Major she was friends with were handing food out to NCR citizens in Freeside. And after speaking to the Major she’d told her about an envoy that got beaten half to death to make peace with The King’s. 

On the way back in Pacer stopped Amari in her tracks, and Boone unholstered his weapon from where he and ED-E were standing inside the room The King was in. 

“Listen little lady. If you don’t want no problems you better keep them lips tight on that something that NCR lady slipped up to you.” 

“How much is my silence worth to you?” 

“Here 200 caps.” Pacer says and Amari smirks. 

“Thanks these’ll keep me warm on my way to tell him.” 

“You bitch. Yer’ lucky I’m busy.” He says before running out of the building. 

“Jeez, you just don’t quit do you?” Amari says looking at Pacer scared and shivering behind a broken down pre-war vehicle. 

Amari ran toward the tower where Elizabeth was with her hands visible, one of the men barked at her about keeping her hands where they can see them or they’ll shoot. 

“Elizabeth, hold your fire! The King didn’t know you sent an envoy,” The woman was shocked, “Well we know we sent one. Saw him beaten in my own eyes. Tell him he should watch his back. But if The King is willing to cooperate than we will hold our fire.” 

“I heard about what you did over there yonder by the bridge. Can’t say thanks enough. You did something for me so I’ll do something for you. If you ever need a favor lemme know. But think on it. Let it boil in your head. You only get one favor.” 

“Well. I did come here asking for passports into The Strip.” 

“Oh that? That ain’t a favor,” The King laughed. “Just head on over to Mick and Ralph’s they’ll set you up good when you tell em your with The King.” 

“Wow I cant believe we’re on The Strip!” Veronica says as a loud song of Dean Martin blasts on one of the speakers. 

“It’s loud.” Amari comments as both hands come up to her ears to muffle the music. The migraine was coming back and the bite was much harder than before. Boone noticed the stumble in Amari’s step and was about to ask what was wrong but Veronica beat her to it. 

**_ It was rigged from the start.  _ **

“You okay there?” As Veronica was reaching to give Amari some assistance they were approached. 

“Well Howdy partners, you all are quite the group!” It was Victor. Boone was not happy to be approached by a large robot. 

“Ugh.. Victor-“ She was stable a bit. 

“Now I know why you’re here Amari. But your business at the Tops Casino can wait. Mr. House would like to become acquainted with you. If you could follow me into the building I’ll take you to the boss.” Both Boone and Veronica were in absolute shock at his words. 

“ _The_ Mr. House?” Veronica was skeptic. 

“Yes, ma’am! But you, the sniper, and eyebot gotta wait in the Luxury Suite. Only Amari can speak to Mr. House.” Victor announces and Boone feels a little sick to his stomach at how dangerous this all feels. 

Once Amari got her reigns she pieced everything he’d just said and crossed her arms. “Who’s Mr. House?” 

_Amnesia sure is a bitch._

“You’ll find out when you come inside.” 

“Wait. You followed me all the way to The Strip?” Amari realized that feeling of being watched the whole time was all Victor. 

“Naw, I do my travels and jump securitron to securitron!” 

“That was still following Victor.” 

“Well that may be true. I still would like if you talked to the boss. Plus it’s getting late!You can stay in the Luxury suite for tonight before you have yer’ revenge.” 

_Revenge_? 

Boone furrowed his brows at the robot- Victors words. Revenge. That’s what this was all about? Their travels from Novac to The Strip? Boone and Amari had comfortable silence between them ever since they started traveling with each other. Except for the small prying Amari did sometimes about him. Mostly about if he ever took the beret off, or the sunglasses. Or if he always was an NCR kid. Small things. Never big. She knew he didn’t want to talk about certain things. He liked that- appreciated that. 

Though she’d never opened her mouth about herself. Even when Veronica pummeled her with questions. She somehow averted questions onto him and Veronica. She never talked about herself. 

He, Veronica, and ED-E were waiting now in the Luxury Suite. They had their own full-sized beds, baths, clean water. Hot water. Veronica had tested that and was pleasantly surprised. So was Boone. He enjoyed the hot water and took advantage of it for an hour, Boone wouldn’t admit it but being back on The Strip brought him to many old memories. Happy ones. 

Despite them being happy ones they saddened him. Saddened him enough to almost cry, but he was done crying. His body was dry of them. Only the hot ache behind his eyes remained and that empty hole feeling in his chest came back. 

Boone realized it was an anxiety attack and had to calm himself back to the real world. 

“She’s back!” Veronica says jumping out of her chair in the kitchen where she and Boone were taking looks at their weapons, and weapons they’d found that they would be selling soon to get the most profit. 

“There’s.. So much I just got filled in on.. I’m.. exhausted.” Amari announces head pounding and eyes tired. Mr. House had filled her in on so much she hadn’t known- or maybe forgotten since she had amnesia. And the picture was so much bigger than she thought. So much and all she was, was a courier. It got her thinking. And she didn’t want to think, she just wanted to sleep. 

Being in the center of this. War quite literally. 

“You’re right, well take a bath or something- There’s hot water! Anyways, I only stayed up to make sure you were alive and now that I know you are I want to go to bed now. Night!” Veronica gave Amari a hug before running straight into her room with ED-E following behind as the door shut. 

Amari hadn’t realized Boone was sitting at the table till he cleared his throat, she just offered him a soft smile before heading into the bathroom and softly shut it behind her. The sound of the door locking resonated in the room and he was left in silence with his rifle. 

It itched at the back of his mind the look she gave him. He knew she was tired but- it was something else. Empty and confused. He knew that look. But they weren’t exactly comrades-in-arms and he knew he shouldn’t go over board. 

_ Not yet. _

With a sigh he readied himself for bed and for the first time in a while wore something other than his outside clothes in a clean bed. Just as he was falling asleep he heard a stressed cry from the bedroom next door. 

Amari ended up taking a shower instead of a bath. Felt if she laid in the bath she’d fall asleep and probably drown in her sleep. Though something about that sounded almost relaxing to her though it scared her that she was even thinking that way as she stood in the shower. 

Her head was just empty. Every time she tried to recall anything it was just white television static. Amari didn’t even know how old she was. It made silent tears fall down her cheeks as she turned the water off and dried herself off before going back into her room to throw herself on the bed. 

Ama found some nightwear in one of the drawers, even though it was men’s she slid into it trying to find comfort in its smooth fabric as she dried the growing hair on her head. It’d grown to the point where the hair in front of her ears curled to frame her face. Even some of the hairs on the top were beginning to follow. 

She stood up with fatigue as she went to look at how her head injury was healing, she got a swab out of her bag to wipe at the skin but accidentally dropped the swab. As Ama crouched down to grab the swab she heard it again. 

_** It was rigged from the start.  ** Their finger was slowly pulling the weathered trigger. His face was pulling into a satisfied cold smirk. _

She swore she saw him in the reflection of the mirror. Aiming that gun at the back of her head. _Smiling._ Like it pleased him to see her in fear. Like it pleased him to take a life. Her life. 

As quick as she could she threw her boot behind her, making it hit the wardrobe across the room instead. She was just imagining things again. 

With a huffed breath she finally laid down and found herself slipping into a dream. No. A nightmare. It was that same scene over and over and over again. Replaying. Mocking her. That was her only memory she could possibly repeat. Possibly dream of. Think of. It was going to haunt her. Remind her that that was always going to be the last thing she would ever remember before becoming an empty woman. 

Amari cried in her sleep that night silently weeping. Begging for anything more. Anything but those memories. Anything but that night replaying. 

Boone’s knuckles hovered over the door for the fifth time that night, he’d woken up hearing strangled quiet cries. It didn’t help he was a light sleeper either. But it wasn’t even Veronicas snoring that was waking him. It was that aching cry that sounded so familiar that felt like it was calling to him. She helped him find a small bit of closure, he felt maybe he could help but he was terrible with words. And had no passive ways of helping anyone. Couldn’t even help himself during those kinds of sorrow-filled nights. 

“Amari?” She must’ve been awake now since the cries suddenly stopped at the sound of his voice and gentle knock. “Can I come in?” She didn’t respond but he heard a rawed out ‘mhm’ from behind the door and entered. Shutting the door behind them letting the room fall in darkness again. 

He’d gotten a good look at the layout though and made his way to sit at the edge of the bed. 

“What happened?” She sniffled and he could hear and feel her shuffle around on the bed probably to sit up. 

“Nothing..” Amari’s voice was raw and groggily, “Can’t be nothing if you’re this upset.” Boone points out and with the lights of the casinos from outside seeping in some, he could somewhat see her. 

“Something Mr. House said?..” He really didn’t know what to do, but question and at least find the problem. 

“N-No.. I just..” Boone watched her silhouette press into a pillow as her back hiccuped. “I have nothing..” He stayed silent and let her continue. “No memory but of that night.. It’s all I can fu-fucking think about!” Amari turned on the lamp next to her bed and when Boone took in her features that was the first he’d ever seen her exposed head. Her hair was grown in, but the scar on her head was something else. People shot in the head usually never came back from that. He was sure there was some brutal pain that came with being shot in the head too. Boone had seen her pause at times and clutch her head like it was gonna explode. 

“I have _nothing_ else.. No other memories in my fucking head.. No people I can remember, no places, not even my parents faces- it’s all static- empty- but that night when he’d killed me- I know what it’s like to die Boone- it was-“ She couldn’t bear it anymore and started silently bawling, “I-I can’t talk about it- I-“ 

“It’s okay. We don’t have to.” Boone didn’t have his usual get-up on so when Amari had gotten a good look at him she snorted, he lifted a brow in confusion “So you _do_ really take the beret off.” Amari got a chuckle out of him and blushed a little at the new sound, and new face of Boone. She’d like to see her friend do that again. 

“I do.” Boone answers rubbing a hand on his buzzed head. The hair was starting to grow a bit and reminded him he should shave tomorrow morning, though he realized he and Amari wouldn’t be sleeping anytime soon. 

“Can I ask you something personal?” Boone shrugged, “Not really my thing, but shoot.” 

“Did you grow up in Novac or?..” 

“I was an NCR kid. Enlisted soon as I was old enough.” She hummed. He was a true soldier then. “So how’d you end up in a small town like Novac?” 

“Ah.. Well, I was stationed at Camp McCarran before I even thought of going to Novac.” Amari realized he was leaning uncomfortably on his hands and she’d moved over patting the spot next to her on the bed. With a little hesitance he sat next to her against the headboard. 

“Oh.. Y’know you never told me why you and Manny don’t talk, I don’t- you don’t have to answer that by the way.” Boone sighed through his nose. 

“He was a good spotter.” He shrugged. That didn’t answer her question. 

“That’s all he was?.. I thought you guys were friends,” Amari turned to face him with a look. 

“We were friends yeah. Just, it’s complicated..” Boone admits playing with the comforter a little. 

“Why’s it complicated?..”

“Manny and Carla never got along. Always at each other’s necks. Manny was _never_ like that till Carla came into my life. Said she didn’t deserve me all kinds of things.” Amari lifted a brow at that and suddenly realized something. He must’ve been jealous. And not a friendship kind of jealousy. 

“And then he— I told him, he was the first person I told that she was gone and he looked- he looked fucking _happy_ she was gone. Not even sorry for me. Nothing.” Boone looked angry but she could tell he was hurt more than anything by what his own best friend did. 

“Wow.. Y’know I think he might’ve liked you,” She comments and Boone turns to her with a face of doubt. “Yeah right.” 

“I think so. He was probably hurt you didn’t like him and despised the person you did. Sounds like a usual unrequited love to me.” That more than opened Boone’s eyes. “Or he just felt she really didn’t deserve you. Was there a reason you think he might’ve thought so?” 

“Carla was from The Strip. One of the families.” Amari was shocked by that and wondered now which family it was. “The Chairmen. They’re a big family.” He saw Amari flinch at the mention and apologized softly knowing she didn’t want to think of that man. 

“Carla sure was spoiled but.. She was still sweet, and funny, really out there with her words.” He smiles remembering what she’d said when they met. “ _Really_ out there. Kinda like you. You might’ve liked her. Might not.” 

“Anybody that can make me laugh is good in my books.” Amari smiles with Boone, “Yeah.. She, she always seemed to know what to say. Was confident as hell. Which was a lot for her, least to me.” 

“Why’s that?” 

“She had alopecia. Wore wigs but. Even without them on she was beautiful and confident.” Boone laughed, “I remember when we first laid down together it came off and she acted like it didn’t happen. Made me laugh hysterical.” Amari laughed with him. 

“I wonder if I had a lover..” She suddenly comments as they sat in silence for a while. Boone hummed. “Maybe you did. Maybe you didn’t. That don’t make you less of a woman.” The comment for some reason made her blush, but it empowered her in some kind of way she wished she understood. 

“Just.. The talk about love makes me wonder if I ever experienced it, I somehow remember- _feel_ like I never have.” Amari turns her face to Boone before shrugging with an odd face one Boone couldn’t place just yet.

“I think this is the most you’ve ever spoken.” Amari kids and Boone rolls his eyes. “Yeah. So what.” 

“It’s nice. You’re nice to talk to is what I’m saying Boone.” 

“Thanks.” Was all he’d said and she couldn’t really see his face after he’d said that since he turned to face the balcony. Probably to avoid her look. 

“I’m tired finally I think..” 

“I can head out if you want,” Boone offers, “Or stay if you uh- need it.” 

“I’ll be okay.” 

“Okay.” Boone got up to leave before stopping by the door, just before he shut it on his side. “Goodnight.” 

“Night.” Amari whispered back before slowly descending to her pillow to finally sleep. 


	4. revenge and revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> amari faces her nightmare. but at what costs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi to anyone that have been reading for a while, and hi if you’re new! hope u enjoy this chapter n if there’s any mistakes lmk <3
> 
> ALSO TW: there is sexual assault in this chapter so if that is too much then it is alright bc i will be going over things from this chapter in the next. so if u like you could completely avoid this chapter and wait for the next 💓

“Now I want you to answer my questions.” Amari had been able to use her charm to get Benny alone in his bedroom, she’d told Veronica and Boone they didn’t have to come along but Veronica insisted that they’d be in the lobby just in case. 

After seeing how heavily guarded Benny was Boone worried if this might end up in her being gunned down, but she somehow managed to get him away from the guards. He’d figured out how when she saw how pressed up against him she was. 

“Oh- my- god! Look at what I found Ama!” Veronica had already given her a nickname and Amari didn’t really mind honestly. “What?” Amari had been informed weapons are strictly forbidden upon entering a casino, and Amari wasn’t exactly a stealthy person so sneaking a gun wasn’t an option. Maybe a switchblade but none else. 

“Look!” Veronica seemed to have pulled out dresses and a wig out of her ass somewhere in her room, and she realized Mr. House must’ve put them there for her. Nobody wouldn’t double take a woman in leather reinforced armor, but a woman in a dress? Underestimated and no other bats of an eye. Incognito. But how’d he know she was gonna be bald! 

“Oh that. That’ll do fine.” 

“I call the green dress- Cause i- Cause I love green y’know?” Veronica makes a motion at her getup. 

Boone was making pretend he was awfully interested in his game of russian roulette when he spotted Ama enter an elevator with the man, and just when he got up to stand he’d been forced back down. 

“Aye! Once you start a game you betta fuckin’ finish fella. Sit down.” _Fuck._

Veronica though had already been on her way and gave some relief to Boone as he was forced to remain seated and watch her follow behind. He’ll catch up. 

“Questions? Baby, There’s no time left for talkin’ it’s time for smoochin’ and showin’ me what all that talk was down there, got me all hot and bothered ova here!” Benny says impatiently bringing his hand up to stroke the side of her face.

_Jesus Christ._

“Benny baby.. I just want some answers before we y’know—“ Benny grabbed her wrists stopping her from reaching into her pockets in time. 

“Lemme show you The Tops first and then we talk sweet girl..” He says straight into her ear and she’d almost wished Veronica had given her hand-to-hand. 

~~** “Sweet girl. Come here.” ** ~~

_ What?.. Static.. _

~~** “ ** ~~ ~~**I don’t think I can wait any longer for you. You’re the perfect [?].”**~~

“You’re so quiet, you gettin’ shy on me baby?” Benny lifted his head up and caught Amari’s eyes, they were looking at him but not _him_. Like he was someone else. Wasn’t Benny. 

_Crimson. Crimson. Crimson. Crimson_.

With a blood curdling scream she swung as hard as she could and went to pull the switchblade out of her pocket, then her sight came back to her and she saw Benny pulling out the gun that put her down like a dog. 

“Come on baby! Calm it! Or is that how you wanna moan for me?” He instinctively pulled his gun out to get her to comply as Amari just went into shock under him. 

He finally finished the fucking game and ran as fast as he could to the elevators he saw the girls take, and with long strides he walked as fast as he could and spotted Veronica in front of a door picking the lock. 

“They’re in here. Watch out for guards.” Veronica says working as fast as she could to open it. Then they heard it. That scream that would send your stomach down and back-up like a sling shot. 

“Hurry up.” Boone says as Veronica starts trying to force the lock. “I’m trying!” she whisper-yells as another yell comes from the room and drove Boone absolutely insane from the familiarity. 

“Move.” With quick thinking he bashed his body into the door hearing a bolt snap. “Help Veronica!” With her own body weight and strength added to the push they got the door open. And all that was left was the bedroom door. 

They could hear shuffling and as they neared the door they kicked the door in, to find Benny on top of Amari. And with rage fueled in her being she charged a hook and knocked Benny off his topper and straight to the ground. 

“The fuck!? Can’t you see were havin’ some fun?” ‘Oh shit’ was on his face and ‘oh shit’ was right. He thought it was one of his family members interrupting him. 

Boone however was a little in shock Benny would do such a thing. I mean this must’ve been Carlas friend due to her being from one of the families. 

*

Boone immediately went to get his hands on Benny but Amari stopped him. Bennys pistol in her hand. ‘Maria’. 

“You know Benny. I was gonna forgive you. Never forget but _forgive_.” She had tears streaming down her cheeks. 

“But you smiled that night. And you smiled just now.” Benny put his hands up when she aimed his gun at him. 

“Someone that smiles when they do such things. I think.” She aimed it straight at his head, hands shaking as she did so. “I think they should _die_.” 

“Come on baby, I just wanted to show you a good time—“ 

“That’s what they all said!” She raised her voice suddenly, “You made me remember something. Something now that I wish I never remembered. Something I always wished to forget.” 

“You’re nothing but a demon walking in sheep’s skin. Awakening people’s nightmares.” 

“But-“ 

“Shut the fuck up!” Amari then went darkly calm. 

“And I know this because you’re one of them. A Legionary. You were speaking to Caesar. Trying to set up with him. I learned all about it.” 

“Baby I was gonna double cross him! I wanna—“ 

“No more talkin’ baby.” She imitated his accent. “Say hello to death for me.” Then that was it. 

He lied as dead as can be on the floor his lungs released his last breath, tongue tied before he could respond with quick-wit. It was over but she still felt haunted. Sick to her stomach. Amari suddenly threw up on the ground as the static became louder in her head. The flashing of the red behind her eyelids as she ripped the wig from her head and chucked it somewhere. 

“Amari?” Veronica tried, watching her holster Bennys gun and rinse her mouth of the bile. 

She walked through her companions, 

“I need a drink.” 

_ Two bottles down hundred more to go... _

Amari spent the rest of the night drinking after what happened, now inside the Lucky 38’s cocktail lounge. Playing low sad ballads on the lounges speakers. 

Confused and empty was what she felt. 

The dog head from last time- Vulpes Inculta. Had handed her a Mark of Caesar. And told her to go to Cottoncove and some other bullshit she was not mentally prepared to hear. Amari was glad he didn’t try anything because she was not in the mood for antics. 

She almost shot the man down as he ran off, but she would’ve gotten sick to her stomach again and possibly arrested. 

The only couple of memories she had were of Benny. A freshly opened wound of a crimson man touching her. And meeting her new friends. Not exactly a lot of good. At least in her eyes as she drank the rest of the bottle with a weak whimper. 

This was agony. 

“Amari?” Her friends were here. She thinks. Hoping it wasn’t a figment of her fears coming back. 

“Mmm?” 

“We were looking everywhere for you! I even went to The Followers and asked for help to look for you,” Veronica says and Boone had already went to Amari’s side to help her up but she pushed him away. “Stop, cant you see I’m having the time of my life?” Amari says almost dropping the bottle on the ground. 

“Doesn’t look like much of a life Ama.” Veronica comments with worry as she looks for some purified water to give to Amari. 

“You got your revenge. What could possibly be making you drink-“ Boone starts, sneakily taking the bottle out of Amari’s hand. 

“What am I supposed to do now?.. That’s all I’ve been wanting to do since I fuckin’ crawled out of the ground- now what am I gonna do?” Suddenly her face crumpled up as tears started falling down her cheeks. “What am I gonna do?” she kept repeating herself, Boone already got her to stand and was bringing her to the elevator after Veronica had grabbed waters. 

“Relax _we’ll_ figure it out.” Boone gave her a pat on the back, she began to slump into sleep against his shoulder. 

“Promise?” 


	5. a new friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> one bounty down three more to go. they’ve been trying to get amari to speak up about it, but she’s too jaded and confused by the in and out static of her memory. 
> 
> a new friend is made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i weirdly spaced this chapter but don’t think that none of the things in this chapter isn’t going to happen soon! i just wanted to put smthn out since i rly enjoy writing this and well it’s been a bit since i posted. anyways enjoy

“He won’t be haunting anyone anymore.” Huffed Boone after Amari tossed Cook-Cook’s head into a duffel bag. After arriving in Camp McCarran and hearing Corporal Betsy’s trauma from Lt. Gorobets she was dead set on getting revenge for her. 

Amari didn’t comment on Boone’s words, just gave him a nod as she sealed the bag up and slung it over her shoulder. 

No one brought up what happened that night. Not daring to throw alcohol into the wound that seemed to go deeper than anyone would’ve known. But he noticed her small adjustments after that night. Distracting herself with doing something for others. 

He knew whether she like or not. She _needed_ to talk about it. What happened and what was on her mind. But every time he tried to bring it up she asked him to do the same. And he couldn’t. 

Veronica has been an open book since they’ve met and even talked about the problems of her own past. So easily. She was very empathetic and sympathetic and he almost wished he could be that way too. 

He knew if he hadn’t taken up to being a companion of Amari and ED-E, soon Veronica. He knew exactly where he’d be. Chasing crimson and the bottom of bottles. Till it killed him. 

“Look. I know you got rid of Cook-Cook but could you do me a favor and try to convince Corporal Betsy to seek help?” Amari had already turned in the bounty for Cook-Cook. Now seated in the First Recon tent at the request of Lt. Gorobets.

Boone had been speaking with 10 of Spades and Corporal Betsy at that moment, glancing at Ama and Lt. Gorobets every so often. He broke the news to Betsy about Cook-Cook being dead and saw that smallest bit of relief on her face. Told him about how she conjured up a whole plan every night of how she was gonna kill him. He was glad they were the ones to kill Cook-Cook. 

“So- Where’d you get the name?” Inquired Amari, she’d been wondering ever since they arrived at Camp McCarran yesterday morning for work. 

Bitter-Root made a face of distaste even though it was just water he was drinking. 

“Are you trying to start trouble?” He gave her a sharp glare as he closed the bottle. 

“No, I just.. Wanted to know where you got the name is all,” she admits with an apologetic expression. Amari didn’t know. 

“It’s a Khan name. Y’know the Great Khans. That’s what my parents were.” 

He could see the question in her face. 

“I figured. I grew up around the bastards. They’d owed me a name at least.” 

Ama then became further confused. 

“Where are your parents then?” What was an ex-Khan doing in First Recon, let alone fighting for the NCR. 

“They got themselves killed at Bitter-springs.” Blank.^ Doesn’t ring any bells.^ He heaved a sigh, “Served them right, if you ask me.” Wow.^ 

“What happened in Bitter-springs?” She was confused and the fact that it was genuine confusion surprised him. Everyone knew what happened in Bitter-springs. 

“It was a massacre. Everyone died. Best thing that had happened to my parents and me.” Ama widened her eyes at that. But then it hit her. 

“How’d you survive?” 

“Major Dhatri. He found me. Took me in and well, became my adoptive father. Now I’m here.” He shrugged. “Maybe he felt sorry for me. Or maybe it was just luck.” Bitter-Root rubbed at the back of his neck feeling like a bug was on him. 

“So you got your name from Bitter-springs?..” 

“In the Khans, when you’re of the age you get a beat down till you’re dancing on the line of death and if you haven’t asked for mercy — You get to choose a new name. I hadn’t gotten mine yet. Was still young, but the way I see it? Bitter-springs was^ my beatdown.” He put his bottle back into one of the pockets on his trooper outfit. “So after that day... I picked it.” Amari wondered briefly thinking about something Boone had mumbled about to himself. 

“That’s all I ever got - and all I ever wanted from the Khans.” 

“Veronica must still be out with ED-E.” Ama announces as they enter the Suite.This wasn’t home. But it was someplace to stay and somewhere she knew not just anybody could enter the building and kill her while she slept. 

Though it didn’t stop her from thinking about the possibility of it. 

“We should visit the Fort. She said something about them needing some old world tech for them to start research on something,” she shrugged. “You know... I talked to that guy, Bitter-root?” Ama was munching on potato crisps. 

“He got his name from what happened at Bitter-springs—“ she cut herself off upon seeing the way he flinched at the mention of the place, “You been there?” He nodded his head. 

Boone’s face scrunched up fierce as he laid out his gear in his usual spot by his door for the ready, “It was a miscommunication.” That was vague for a reason. But she ended up prying. 

“How was it a miscommunication?” Amari was leaned up against the counter of the kitchen sipping on a ice cold sunset sarsaparilla. Perks of having a working fridge. 

“We surrounded them, cut off their only other exit on the bad side while the others pushed them on their front.” He joined her in the kitchen at this point seated at the table with a pistol he was thinking about fixing up and selling for more caps. Amari was deciding on whether to cook or eat snacks and call it a night, but she knew her friends wouldn’t let that slide.

“We were waiting for them at the other passageway they had.. We were told it was a chem basewith soldiers, but it was their home. Women, children, and the sick were coming through and.. We shot them down.” Boone held the gun especially tight as he replayed the event in his head. 

“Is that why you think you’ve got some kind of bad luck on you?” 

“I don’t think. I know I do.” They were in silence for a while. Mostly Boone just waiting for her to say something and Amari trying to put her words in chronological order. 

“You were just following orders..” She says not really justifying his actions, but letting him know he was following an order not his own coherent thought. 

“I still did what I did. Listened like some kind of drone. I could’ve went against orders and I didn’t. Ever since that day I had bad things coming my way.” Boone removed his beret suddenly holding it in his hands solemnly. 

“Is that why you think Carla died..? Because of  you ?” 

Boone didn’t like the look she gave him, trying to sympathize. He didn’t want her pity and abruptly stood up from the dining room table and went straight into his bedroom, though as he did so Veronica had been exiting the elevator. 

“Hey ga-a-ang! Oh..” Boone had slammed his door shut and the new friend she’d brought in the suite with her had given an awkward smile. 

“Sorry. Should I come another time? I can come another time- I think I should-“ Amari shook her head and tried to smile at the new guest in the suite and ED-E who could read her stressed vitals. 

“Sh-Sh! It’s fine it’s chill- we’re all.. cool..” Veronica says before pushing the tall man to stand in front of Amari. 

“Hello, I’m uhm.. Arcade Gannon, but Arcade works. I’m here because of your friend Veronica. And might I say I’m still amazed that a courier was invited inside the Lucky 38! Anyway, I just wanted to ask of you to consider coming to the Old Fort and educating yourself on our faction and decide whether or not you’re going to include us in your future endeavors for the Mojave.” That was a fucking mouthful. 

“Uh. Wow. You really laid it on me.” Amari’s previous conversation still boiling in her mind as the steel haired man- Arcade spoke with Veronica. 

“I’ve helped The Followers before... Kind of.. From what I’ve seen you guys are quite the humanitarians.” 

“Great! I know you’ve only really been to The Fort, and worked with The King, and-“ He looked tight Veronica, “Just The Strip? Okay just the strip. But there’s a lot of places that need help, and you seeing it and living it with these people would further drive my case of unification and the need to get rid of those legionnaires.” 

“Right- So where did you want me to start?” 


	6. carpe diem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang goes to HELIOS One and Nelson.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, long time no see ><  
> i hope u enjoy this chapter, i know i did.

** “600 caps.” **

It was all faded and blended together. Sight fuzzed out around the edges like a vignette filter was put in her eyes, and the taste of iron was back in her mouth and her stomach danced with butterflies inside begging for freedom. As did she. 

** “You aren’t a [?] anymore. You’re ours.”  **

The feeling of hands on her was all she could really make of it all. And the fading in and out of crimson colors and fire, with the crackles of burning wood and linen striking her senses. 

With a start Amari half-sat up on her pillows clutching over the place she could feel was clutched by cold-blooded hands. Running a hand over her cheek she could feel beads of sweat falling down from her forehead. 

_ Water. Water. Water. _

Suddenly the burning heat of her skin was apparent and the room suddenly felt so small. She hopped out of her bed quickly rushing into the bathroom probably with heavy footsteps and straight into the shower without even closing the door behind her. Embracing the cold water as it washed away the heat and almost the gut wrenching squeeze in her stomach. 

** “Amari run.”  **

Lifting her head up toward the water she let the sound of the water beat down near her ears. Trying to drown out the sounds of her odd day dream. 

** “ Amari?”  **

Amari groaned in frustration bringing her hands up to her ears to try and block out all sound but the water only did so much. 

** “Amari run.”  **

With a small cry she shook her head in confusion. 

** “Amari what are you doing? Hey-“  **

** “Amari run. Run my girl.”  **

** “Amari run!”  **

** “Amari!”  **

“ _Amari_! ” Upon opening her eyes she recognized who it was. 

“Veronica?...” Said woman had pulled Amari out from under the water stream. 

“Yeah its me, your buddy ol pal- What’re you doing in the middle of the night.. Showering with.. Your clothes on?” At this point Veronica had turned the water off and got her to sit on a small table in the bathroom. 

“Uhm. It was _super_ hot in my room.” 

“Doubt it. The air conditioning in this building is crispy as hell. You lie better when you have the full eight hours-“ she jokes and that lightens the load off Amari’s chest. 

“Bad dream. Really bad dream.” Amari winced in pain and put a hand out to clutch her gut area, “Ugh- I think I started my period.” 

“Yeowch- should probably just take a shower then,” Veronica scoffs as she gets up to open up a drawer and grab a handful of pads. “What was the dream about?” Amari had stood up and closed the curtain after entering and began removing her soaked clothes and threw them into the hamper. 

Veronica wouldn’t have seen it but Amari froze under the hot water at the mention. She couldn’t visually grab anything from the dream other than red and black. But she heard voices in and out, and didn’t know what to make of it really. 

“I dunno..” Amari started aggressively shampooing her hair to try and soothe the pounding her head was doing and it didn’t help. “I just heard voices. I didn’t recognize any of them though. I can’t tell.” After she’d rinsed her hair out she started scrubbing her skin suddenly feeling— disgusted by it for some reason and probably removed two layers of skin with how hard she was scrubbing. 

“I’ve had those before. Head empty apart from voices you remember.. Or miss.” Veronica frowned to herself sitting atop the small table and swinging her short legs. “I dreamed of Christine the other day.” 

Amari knew about Christine. Veronica told her about it while doing scavenge work to advance ED-E. She remained silent feeling like listening felt better in the moment due to the lump in her throat. 

“It was a sweet dream. Nothing romantic. We weren’t dating yet just friends. We were talking about the outside world. Going out there and adventuring and helping people that needed helping.” Veronica smiled. “I may not have Christine anymore but I’m doing what we wanted.“ 

Veronica ended up getting tired while venting to Amari in the shower and went back to her room to sleep, and by the time Amari had gotten out of the shower her fingers were pruny and she was a little dizzy from the hot steam built up in the bathroom. 

She’d been laying like a starfish when she heard an odd knock at the door of her room causing her to rise slow- more so to process if someone had actually knocked on her door or not. 

“Come in?—“ They knocked again and that’s when she rose from the bed with an exhausted huff and quickly opened the door. “Oh, Eddie, Whats wrong?” 

“ <Worried Beeps>” 

“What is it?” Amari knew they couldn’t answer them, but she still spoke to them as though they could. 

ED-E utilized their laser to make an indication towards Boone’s door, with urgent steps she went towards his door and laid her ear against the door hearing what sounded like a fight. 

“I’ll try and help him, thank you Ed you’re a great help.” ED-E whizzed with delight 

“Boone? Wake up it’s just a nightmare,” her voice was calm as can be as she walked towards him on the bed as he tossed and turned with soft aggravated groans of what could’ve been pain leaving him. 

“Boone it’s okay, you’re with me,” Amari sat down on the edge he laid closest to and gently shook his shoulder, “Boone come on wake up, Boone, you’re okay,” Gently she pat his arm and like the pound after the lightning she was hit on the cheek fiercely and could feel the bruise already blossoming in her skin. 

He’d hit her at the same time moving their positions and caused half of Amari’s body to fall off the bed allowing her to slide away from him. Boone hadn’t realized what he’d done till the nightmare from behind his eyelids melted away and revealed the real world to him again. 

_ Shit. Oh fuck. _

He went to stand up and move toward her, to apologize, to see if he’d hurt her. By the way she held her cheek and scurried away he already knew what he did. 

“I didn’t mean—“ Boone reached out to her. 

“No- Don’t- I don’t- I just wanted to wake you, ED-E was worried.. You were tossing and turning like you were fighting someone—“ Boone cut her off. 

“I was.” Amari had no comment for that and just nodded her head at his words, slowly rising from the place she’d scurried to incase he was still hostile. 

Amari didn’t know if she should leave or talk to him. There was a thick mist of tension between them that went unspoken. He wanted her to talk about it. She wanted him to talk about it. They were both stubborn at that. Both not wanting to open up about something, but Amari mostly didn’t _have_ anything to open up about, and the things she did she didn’t want. 

“Thought you were one of those dog heads.” Boone refers to them the way Amari does, smiling to himself as he did so though briefly when Amari winced at the pressure in her cheek. 

“I’m sorry.. Really- I didn’t know it was you, if I did I _never_ would’ve hit you, This is why you should keep your distance. I told you, the only thing I do is hurt people.” All of a sudden his perspective rose to the ceiling and only then did he realize he’d been punched in the face once when he registered the pain on her cheek. 

“That make you feel any better?” Amari rubbed her knuckles with her other hand and groaned at the pain- it seemed she was more hurt than he was but she wasn’t going to tell him that. 

Boone was still clutching his cheek while she said that, and suddenly he covered his face. Amari noticed his chest rise and falling like he had bad hiccups and was about to ask what was wrong when she’d realized he was _laughing_. 

The realization he was laughing made her feel silly, upon making eye contact with Boone when he uncovered his eyes. Her own doe eyes went wide as the sudden urge to laugh came and caused her to spit out a hard breath of air with a snort. 

“You think it’s-“ she silently laughed behind her hand before continuing, “Its funny to be hit?” 

Boone couldn’t find it in himself to respond and shut his eyes tight as his chest rise and fell again in a silent laugh. She definitely liked the outcome of that punch. 

“Definitely.” Boone was at a loss for words as usual and was just shaking his head softly. At how ridiculous he felt for laughing. 

Amari felt there was no need to add-on after that and her original question for him lulled away to the back boiler of her mind. 

“Do you have any siblings?” It was a random question but Boone welcomed it. 

He smiled and Amari could admit she liked the sight of a friend smiling. “No. But, I did have kids that looked up to me- for some reason.” Amari didn’t want to stay standing so she semi-laid on the bed with him though he remained laid down on the soft pillows against the headboard. 

“I think you’re.. Mm.” She cut herself off knowing exactly what he’d say to that. And she didn’t want to sour the mood. 

“I’m what?” Boone had a skeptical look on his face, eyebrow lifted in a way that boi pulled the side of her mouth up feeling as though he was taunting her. 

“Dunno.” A man? A sniper? A spotter? A _human_?. Anything Amari could offer would’ve filled the room with cringe and she wasn’t here to do that. He didn’t press her for an answer, mostly unsure if he even wanted an answer to that question. 

Boone realized after sitting- laying in silence across from each other he found himself glancing at his companion every so often who seemed to be drawn to the ceiling paint on the wall. It was almost like a baroque ceiling art, but was encompassed by frolicking angels playing instruments together. She only recognized the harp so the rest were unbeknownst. 

“I.. I feel like I had siblings,” _Oh right._ He wondered what it was like to be an amnesiac, just for that moment. What it would be like if he just forgot the pain in his mind, the ache in his heart, and the yearning from his gut, all bow tied with guilt, regret, and self-hatred. Boone could never let himself forget her. Not unless he couldn’t control it. 

“How could you... Feel _that_?” He looked to her when he heard shuffling in the bed, watching her get comfortable on her back. 

“I just feel like I did.” _Uhuh._ Boone huffed air through his noise, Amari knew that he knew she was being cryptic, she just couldn’t really get into things referring to her memory. How do you explain a feeling? Off one little flash of memory, a feeling. 

“It was for a split second Boone.. When- When those kids in Freeside thanked me for killing that rat I.. I just had the weirdest feeling in my gut.. Like I was trying to remember something mentally, but physically I remembered—“ She was making hand gestures while talking and suddenly she just shook her head and stopped explaining. “I probably don’t make any sense.” 

“No. I understand what you mean.” 

Boone was starting to fall asleep to the sound of her voice, it was getting softer the longer she spoke and it was all he needed to be lulled to sleep- Though he didn’t realize she’d fallen asleep mid-sentence. 

That night he dreamt of the kids he used to know, and Amari. 

** “Do you want it?”  **

Boone woke without a start for the first time in a while, bringing his hands to his face to rub the fatigue away. He’d almost forgotten Amari had come into his room last night, so he was maybe a little surprised to see her laying in the opposite direction next to him balled up like a cat. 

Boone had thrown a blanket over her before silently leaving the room and into the bathroom to clean himself up. Boone didn’t look absolutely tired, but it was still an upgrade to his usual look as he rubbed the soap off his face from the shave. 

** “ No. Throw it away. Or something.”  **

** “You could always come with me.”  **

Boone had finished eating when he noticed Veronica going into the bathroom but before she went in she looked around- probably for Amari. 

“You’re up before Ama?” 

“Yeah, I’m surprised too.” he admits, “Might wanna pack extra water we might be out for a while today. Arcade wants to take us to HELIOS and honestly I think we should head over there if what he says is true. Get Ama up.” Her last words wasn’t a request but an order and he knew if Amari wasn’t up by the time she was done getting ready Ama was going to release her wrath on anyone trying to rush her to get out. 

Their group looks like a caravan more than anything. A doctor, a 1st Recon sniper, a flying robot, a scribe, and a fucking courier. Quite the look on the road. 

“I have a colleague in HELIOS, he said they were having a problem with distributing power and I think we would be able to help. With your expertise that you have no idea you have and Veronicas inside knowledge of the place. We might be able to get power up and running however;” This is where Arcade stepped in front of Amari, “The power is supposed to only go to The Strip and other already thriving places. But it could go to places like Freeside and many others that are barely surviving and have no power... Just a thought..” 

“That guy is an absolute imbecile! How did he even get hired?” Amari shrugged and Veronica was busy guiding them to the places they needed to go to get the satellites back to its mother board connection. 

“Beats me.” Boone had been a great help in getting them inside without any reason other than him coming back to do some work with this colleagues, which seemed to be a good enough excuse for the woman at front to let four people and a robot inside. _Maybe it was his charm._

“Eddies connection to my Pip-Boy says there’s a threat somewhere out here, but I don’t see anything?...” Amari speaks up as they begin to walk towards the last spot that didn’t look to be trapped. Though the sand bagged walls didn’t give her a good feeling either. Then Boone heard it. The growls of guard dogs. “Move back—“ Suddenly a rabid dog came running out from the side and at Amari, and the sound of Boone’s rifle cracked through the air. _Thanks._

“Let’s hope this one isn’t booby-trapped like the others,” Veronica says tip-toeing along the sand-bagged walls. “I think we’re good.” 

“Woah—“ She power fisted a dog straight in the skull and most likely smashed its head indicated by a loud crunch.

“Aw, poor dog!” There was another one left that Amari put down as quick as possible not wanting to upset her friend further. 

“This is almost too.. Easy—“ Arcade says before suddenly stopping as Veronica stopped the whole group. “The defenses might still be up from when we were still based here, lemme go check if I can shut down the turrets. Don’t poke your head out to check Boone.” Veronica teased and Ama swore she saw Boone roll his eyes so hard his eyelids shook, it made her snort and turn to Arcade immediately to distract herself. 

Arcade was eyeing ED-E ever since he met Veronica apparently, since they had met when Boone and Amari were doing bounties for caps. That’s what Boone told Amari though- It was mostly just to get her out of her room and make her feel useful. She got him out of that crippling home called Novac, despite in a different way it was mostly the same. They were friends. And dare he say he didn’t mind the robot or the scribe. The scientist however was new, so that was to be determined. 

“I swear if there’s anymore turrets I’m gonna lose it.” Says Arcade as they walk into a barren room with a huge mainframe terminal, desks scattered with things all around it. 

“Ed be a doll and scan for bad guys please?” Amari decided to go ahead with ED-E incase there was anything up the steps. No way she was letting anything destroy her robo-bab. 

“ _< Affirmative beeps>_” She have ED-E a smile as they finished the scan, and she noticed a robot inside some a holding cell of some kind though it was in a protectron charging station.  Most likely a repair bot.  She stared a little too long at the Robo-brain. 

_ Oh?  _

There was a round map of some kind and the dull start of a migraine was forming at the front of her head like her thoughts were pounding at her skull and trying to come out and spell it all out for her. 

** “Ly[?] says we should head West. Apparently there are many places that [?] [?]. Though Dr. [?] isn’t fully convinced to head that way says she’s going to the [?]”  **

Veronica had went to find Amari to fix the generator connected to the mainframe when she noticed her clutching her head in her heads on her knees next to the map of Washington, D.C. she recognized. 

“You alright Ama?” 

** “I wanna just settle [?]. They’re losing their ways and I’m _not_ going to be in the middle of its crumble.”  **

“Huh?” She snapped out of the daydream echoing in her mind and stood up too fast, making her eyes go black as her blood pressure tried to catch up. 

“We need your mechanic expertise, I mean I probably could fix it but you being alone worries me mostly.” 

“Gee thanks.” Amari didn’t like what she said but she knew Veronica meant well. 

After getting the generator fixed Amari went to the mainframe and hovered over Westside and Fremont. Though the option of being equal was good as well. But then again she determined the people in The Strip were already doing well with power and she wondered if giving them power would really make a true difference. But if it was able to spread out equally she chose equally. 

“I hope that was a good choice.” She says after having spoken to Ignacio Amari decided to go to Novac as a pit stop for their travels, since Ama was suddenly extremely tired and was prepared for a baba. 

“Although The Strip has never really suffered power issues. I can appreciate a humanitarian view of equality for all you have.” That made Amari blush since she’d never really been acknowledged for her views before and it felt nice. “I didn’t even know Freeside was suffering with power. It opened my eyes on that.” 

“Amari.” Amari groaned drowsily as Boone shook her awake. “Get up this is important.” She lifted herself up onto her elbows and turned her head in his general direction. “I was speaking to Ranger Andy, he just got word that Nelson has been hit by the Legion.” 

“The dog guys...” Amari mumbled angrily as she slowly began waking up and she swore Boone had a half-smirk on his face for a second. 

“Yeah. Come on let’s get going.” 

“I’m gonna head to the medic tent and see what I can do to help with the casualties.” Says Arcade and Veronica ended up tagging along since she had some experience to help. 

“We may have to mercy kill the poor guys that got captured. There’s too many down there and we don’t have enough gun power to take them out. They have vantage points on us.” Amari lifted her brows in confusion. “Huh? Wait you don’t want to rescue them?” 

“No. In ranger schooling we were taught to not try and play hero when you know you’re outnumbered. If we take out our captured boys they have squat for leverage on us.” 

Amari noticed Boone grit his teeth next to her as Ranger Milo brought them to Sergeant Cooper who had rallied the men for the attack.

“To hell with mercy killing. We’re getting those guys out of there.” She heard Boone angrily mumble under his breath as they followed.

“I’ve heard of you, glad to have you on our side.” Says the Sergeant. _Word must travel fast._

“We don’t have that many troops so we can only attack from one side.” 

“We should go to the East side. They have isolated guard posts, afterwards we can have the high ground from there.” Devised Boone. “It’ll be a free ground for easy sniping.” 

“Alright. I’ll put the last known location on your Pip-Boy. Let’s move out!” 

With the town clear of any Legion in the guard posts Boone easily sniped off the melee users of the Legionaries that tried to get within melee range of Amari, and ED-E was an amazing spotter for Boone almost lining every shot up for him. They were easily a favorite spotter of his. 

Dead Sea was the leader of the operation and of course the man in the barracks had come out with more Legionaries prepared to fight, but once Dead Sea had stepped out of the barracks his brains splattered the doorway and his men roared for revenge. Though Amari learned quickly to debilitate the machete wielding soldiers in their limbs with her revolver and took them down as quick as she could. 

All that was left of Nelson was the crimson of the Legionaries blood on the ground and some of NCR soldiers. But they’d been quick and precise with their attack and made sure no soldiers got even close to the soldiers on crosses. 

Amari had been helping the soldiers down from their crosses with some help of soldiers when Boone had spoken up, having come down from his snipers nest. 

“Mercy killing is a last resort. I’m glad you saw we had some options.” She nodded her head away from the soldiers getting the hint he wanted to talk more, but not here. 

“Of course there was options. We had the ambitions.” She murmurs softly, “Mercy killing- it’s expected of NCR snipers. Since The Legion likes to torture any prisoners within sight of our positions.” He grimaced and she noticed it behind his sunglasses, “We get called on it to end it. I’ve- I’ve had my share. And some of them, you think, maybe you could’ve gotten them out.” She nods her head to show she’s listening. By the way he spoke about it. It sounded like he’d killed someone close to him and her heart was beginning to sink at the thought of it as she kicked at the rocks below her feet. 

“Maybe it’s not The Legion that got them killed but your orders and you following them.” He furrows his brows tight as they come to a stop by the back gate of Nelson. 

Amari didn’t really have anything to say. It felt like he was just telling her something more than really speaking to her, expecting a response from her. He wasn’t. He was just _venting._

They ended up going to Goodsprings afterwards, for some reason sleeping at Novac didn’t feel right for Amari even though she did technically sleep there. She knew Boone didn’t want to sleep there and by going to Goodsprings that meant visiting some people she’d like to see again. 

“Amari!” Sunny had come up to Amari and gave her a friendly hug, while Cheyenne followed her owners lead and gave Amari some friendly licks. “Hey to you too,” She says as the rest of her friends enter the pub. “Woah. Quite the group you’ve got there, even got a robot,” Sunny snorted as Amari then introduced them all to her. “And last but not least this is Boone, he’s friendly so don’t let the demeanor get to you.” 

“Say hi to Trudy, she’d be straight with me if I hogged you.” 

They’d settled down in the pub relaxing and chatting and Trudy popped the question. “Say what. You helped this town with a lot and have even helped keep them roads safe down toward Primm of those gangsters. That’s more than enough for me.” Trudy pulled out a key from her satchel, “The old house by the gas station hasn’t had an owner in years. I think that owner is you. I think there should be enough space for you and your friends. A group of Rangers used to live there. But a few years ago they stopped coming in. So, it’s yours now.” 

“Wow, Trudy.. Thank you.. So much,” Trudy smiled before doing a cheers with Amari. “Say less sweetheart.” 

“Trudy said Rangers used to live here?” Arcade inquires noticing the workbench, and ammo footlockers along with a Ranger hat and a ham radio off to the side. “Yeah. Already a pretty good setup.” Amari admits after locking the door behind them all. 

The living area was right next to the workbench and ham radio, with the kitchen right off to the side with the bedroom and bathroom on the other side of the house. There was two bunk beds in the bedroom, thankfully. So, they all had a place to sleep. All they had to do was dust off the bed and it was time for bed. 

Amari was the last one to get the bathroom, and by the time she’d left the bathroom she finally did what she was dreading the whole night. Sleeping near the place she’d once been pronounced dead. The bed wasn’t uncomfortable. It was just the energy- but it mostly was her own. No matter the position she turned to she was uncomfortable and couldn’t seem to sleep. Finally she’d been able to fall asleep and just when she did it felt like she was falling causing her to rise up in fear and hit her head on the bed above. Amari froze as Veronica stirred above her a little before going back to her soft snores. 

Amari knew she wasn’t going to go to bed anytime soon, and decided maybe a walk would be for the best. Maybe she needed to go back. After softly closing the door behind her from the bedroom she paced a little from the kitchen into the living area. Fiddling with her fingers as the sweat on her forehead dribbled down the side of her head- and she gasped and quickly ran to a mirror, pushing her bangs back only to spot a healed wound on her forehead not at all dribbling blood down her face. 

Placing her bangs back down over the spot she looked at herself in the mirror a little longer than usual. Something she’d never done before. Never really finding reason in doing so. Never really wanting to anyways. Amari had thick fluffy eyebrows and small beauty marks dotting around her eyes and mouth. The only freckles she seemed to have were on her forehead, but they were so faint she wondered if they were just acne scars. As she looked at herself she rubbed at the back of her front teeth and realized she had a gap between them, and that they jutted inwards a bit. Then she realized how uneven her lips were. Her top lip was much bigger than her bottom, but overall were a pout shaped. When she’d gotten to her eyes she wondered how she’d never realized it herself. How her eyes were two different colors- Nobody must’ve noticed but, one was a dark green and the other was brown. She noticed her hair at the back was grab-able after running her hand through it and noticed how the hairs curled upwards in a spiraling dance.

“Hey.” Amari flew two feet in the air as she turned to the voice, reaching to her side and not finding her holster there. She was safe. Mostly. 

Boone shut the door softly behind him. In a shirt and cargo pants. Not the comfortable clothing they wore to bed on The Strip. No sunglasses, or that beret he religiously wore. Just him. 

“H-“ Her voice cracked making her clear it, “Hi Boone.” She moved away from the mirror and toward the door. “I was just going for a walk- I’ll be back in a bit.” Amari grabbed her boots and slipped them on already wearing an okay outfit for outside. 

“Wait up. I’m coming too.” 

“You can’t sleep?” Amari asks concerned. 

“I was gonna ask you that.” Boone says looking ahead of them. “I heard the tossing and turning.” 

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to-“ 

“You didn’t keep me up. I was thinking a lot.” He cut off as he noticed a hill to the side. He wondered what the view was like from up there as a sniper and started to pull the walk towards it. 

Amari didn’t notice this. Busy looking around nervously for someone to jump at her and knock her out and— 

“Boone.” She stopped walking and he hadn’t noticed till he only heard his pair of feet moving no longer accompanied by hers. 

“Yeah?” When he turned around he was half way up the slope and the look she had on her face. Was the same one she had that night. When Boone and Veronica came into that room. A little too late to stop what happened. He still felt awful for being too slow even after apologizing to her. 

“I.. I’m gonna wait down here.” He fully turned to her and walked back down the slope to get a better look at her face. But she just avoided eye contact and kept looking around all dodgy. “Why? What is it?” 

“I don’t.. I- I don’t wanna go up there is all Boone.” 

“Afraid of a little gecko?” Boone was trying to lift her spirits but she just snapped at him, and he knew it wasn’t coming from a place of anger. But panic. She was radiating it. 

“I just don’t wanna fucking go up there!” Amari immediately had a face of regret after snapping at her friend and she wrapped herself up in her arms. Preparing an apology. “I’m sorry- I just- I _can’t.”_

“Why?” 

“Boone.. It’s a cemetery..” Amari was hoping he’d just get it or brush it off and let her wait here or maybe not even go up there at all. 

“I.. _He_.” Her voice broke and she put her hands over her mouth in shock at the way she sounded to herself. 

“Oh.” Boone got it. “Why’d we come here if you don’t like it here?” 

“You don’t like it in Novac.” Amari says and it clicked for him. She’d avoided making him sleep there. Visiting was one thing but sleeping was another. The place that brought him trauma and nightmares. Whispers of his past. All that for him. 

For the first time in a while he smiled genuinely, “That.. Thank you.” and Amari gave one back easily. 

“But I think.. I think seeing it will help you, maybe process that what happened. Happened.” Boone pauses scratching at the back of his neck. “I’m here.” 

“Okay. _Maybe_ you’re right. I should- I should go up there.” Amari took a deep breath and put her shoulders back and slowly walked up the slope. Boone watched as she prepped for a pivot and he stopped her. “Don’t back out of it. You’re almost there.” 

“Boone move- _move_ \- please let me go- I can’t- I can’t-“ She didn’t realize how strong he was till he easy lifted her up and walked her most of the way. When he’d let her down she knew she was standing in front of it. Eyes tightly shut. Shivering, and not just from the cold. 

Amari’s hands were balled fists at her sides, and suddenly she reached out to her side with an open palm and Boone knew what that meant and let her squeeze the hell out of his hand to release all the tension she had. 

Upon opening her eyes, no tears dropped, not even her heart. The quiet apart from the cicadas was all she heard, that and Boone’s soft exhales next to her. And the small wince when she’d tightened her hold on his hand upon noticing the shovel still there. Remembering having been hit with it all of a sudden. 

“I.. I _am_ alive.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> those late night talks do b hitting different ~.~


	7. too many plans to count

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> black mountain shenanigans and sum big brain plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello it is me, I’m having a lot of fun writing this honestly and if you’ve been reading with me for every update i appreciate the patience. Cuz even tho i write these chapters like- fast bc of my enjoyment of writing them it takes me hella long to edit bc of my stupid overthinking.. anyway i hope i like lmk what u think and if u like the way this story is progressing? or like idk maybe something you’d like to see i rlly like input lol— ALSO uhm english isn’t my first so i apologize for any errors

“How are you feeling?” Asked Doc Mitchell, “I still get the.. The migraines, and stuff.” He was taking a look at the scarring and wished he’d made her stay longer to keep the scarring minimal, but she was hell bent on getting out there so he knew he couldn’t stop the girl. 

“Anything else?” She knew he was referring to any trauma and Amari didn’t really wanna get into it but she knew it might help. “Uhm.. Yeah, dreams. In and out about stuff.. Mostly voices— Not like! Not like schizophrenic voices.. Like- memories kind of voices.” Amari clarifies as he now checked her bpm. 

“Sounds like Post Traumatic Stress Disorder to me.” Doc says as she tells him about the small panic fits she silently went through and tried to hold in all the time. “I’d think someone that went through what you have would. Have you found a pattern to your triggers?” 

“Red.” Amari pursed her lips before continuing. “But maybe I just.. Don’t like the color,” she laughed at herself but Mitchell didn’t and just hummed. “Also, a man.. _That_ man.” 

“You still can’t remember things from your past? Images, not just sounds.” 

“Just sounds.” She sighed 

“Why don’t I play some things for you and tell me if it rings any bells in you.” 

“Thanks Doc, I know you tried your best.” Doc Mitchell made sure to give her some food and doctors bags for the road before bidding her farewell. 

“Let’s just go up the 15, it’ll be quicker anyways.” And Arcade begged to differ. “Uh, that place has been having Deathclaw problems. I dunno if we’d like to head that way,” Amari rolled her eyes. “A little Deathclaw never hurt anybody.” And Arcade scrunched his face up, “Uh, yeah, yeah it _has_.” 

“Is Deathclaw edible?” Veronica suddenly asks, and Amari marvels at the thought as well as they all continue down towards the Interstate. 

As they were walking past a mountain a stray Deathclaw came out from the side, and with their fire power all together it died before it could cross over to their side of the lanes. “I’m tempted to get it’s meat..” Admits Amari as they walked past it, and Arcade was about to give her a smart ass rebuttal in Latin when her Pip-Boy started playing something. 

_ “Are you tired of getting chased because you’re bigger than humans?—“ _

“I can’t believe we followed a signal clearly towards a mountain inhabited by Super Mutants.” Complained Arcade as they got closer to the start of the way up the mountain. But not soon after a Super Mutant charged towards them. 

“Wait, don’t shoot Boone-“ She pushed his rifle the other way as the Mutant came to a stop at a respectable distance and spoke— fluently. 

“This a dangerous place human— especially for your kind. I suggest you turn back and look no further.” Amari never knew there were intelligent super mutants, and she guessed everyone else hadn’t either. 

“The road is a series of switchbacks up to the peak. There are three blockades plus patrols, sneaking past them would be - difficult. Just before the peak is more second gens in a shanty village, and once you reach Tabithas base it’s heavily guarded by her Nightkin.” Amari recognizes the name. 

“Who is Tabitha?” Asks Veronica. 

“If you heard on the broadcast, she’s the one that runs the mountain now. Marcus originally ran it. Keeping Super mutants away from humans and allowing us to live safely, but then Tabitha came with her Nightkin and convinced the second gens that she was some kind of prophet to take it over from Marcus. After that — Marcus smashed the radio and left to found Jacobstown.” 

“Doesn’t sound like he did a good job at smashing it.” Arcade remarks 

“Marcus smashed it just fine.” Neil scoff laughed and continued, “But a poor guy ended up stumbling up the mountain and Tabitha made him her personal mechanic— More like a slave.” 

“I’ve been here to just warn people about going up the mountain and to keep an eye on their actions. Lately they’ve been planning to attack nearby settlements, and all I can do is report it back to Marcus.” Amari quickly thought of Goodsprings being a possible target. 

“Why not try and stop her? We were heading up there anyways out of.. Curiosity at first, but now.. Now I wanna make sure they stay away from the settlements. And you already know the layout of the place so you can make a plan by the time we get up there.” 

“Hm. You have a point. If they attack settlements they’ll give the super mutants that just want to mind their own business a bad reputation. Get us all killed. Meet me at the summit.” Amari nodded her head and watched as Neil made his way up the mountain. Though she knew it wouldn’t be so easy for them all. 

“We should sneak up there. I see a little passageway off the side right there we can climb, it’ll give me a clear view of the super mutants for headshots.” Says Boone who had been observing the mountain for vantage points the whole time. “Let’s get going.” 

They managed to get up the booby-trapped side of the mountain and entered an empty broken dome like building with a ham radio inside. Then an idea hit Amari and she smiled impishly. Finding an empty tin can and some mesh material she turned the radio on. 

“Who is this? This line isn’t for dumb-dumbs!” Yelled Tabitha and she smirked to herself as she positioned the can in front of her mouth as she emulated a second gen super mutant. 

“We no dumb-dumbs! You dumb-dumbs! We revolting!” Amari says and Veronica slapped a hand over her mouth to stop her from laughing hysterically as they looked out for any super mutants behind them. 

“A dumb-dumb revolt you say? Well I sentence all dumb-dumbs to death!” And with that they all hid behind things as Nightkin ran down the mountain to kill all the second gen mutants leaving Tabitha unprotected. Once the last Nightkin went down the hill they all left the dome like building after snagging a thousand caps from containers, they met Neil on the side of the mountain. 

“You’re smart. Good idea to pit them all against each other. You didn’t need my help after all. I’m gonna head up first to make sure there’s no Nightkin up there. If there’s none left I’ll give you the okay.” Neil says giving the group a once over before heading up to the summit, and once he’d checked he gave the group a big thumbs up and motioned for them to come up. 

“This is where I remain. The rest is up to you human good luck to you all.” 

They checked the first building finding the lights off and a make-shift super mutant, they found a note about some sort of treasure-hunt made by Tabitha and the loot sounded good so Boone and Veronica started searching around after checking for traps for all the loot. But as they were walking around Arcade flipped the electrical switch back on and made everyone groan at the switch in light. 

“Sorry, I’m not primitive and would like to see what’s in front of me without struggling.” Says Arcade as Amari notices Rhonda laying on a table. 

“Guys, I think this is the robot Tabitha was talking about on the radio.” She points out after tracing the etching of Rhonda on the side of the robot. 

“I’m gonna see if I can fix it.” Amari took a long look at the robot and then realized it had shut down automatically for a recharge, and was never turned back on. Jesus christ. “It was never broken. It just needed to be turned back on.” She laughs as she flips the switch bringing Rhonda back online. 

“Where is Tabitha? It has been approximately six years since I have spoken to my friend!” Amari then realized this could be the way to get Tabitha to back down from her plans to attack settlements and keep the mutants to the mountains. 

“She should be in that broadcasting building.” Says Arcade as Rhonda swiftly moved past them and outside. Quickly Amari followed behind and there stood Tabitha in shock as Rhonda greeted her. 

“Rhonda is that you!?” 

“It is Mistress Tabitha. How I have missed you! This stranger here fixed me up right as rain. Is she a friend of yours?” Says Rhonda 

“I... Don’t know how to thank you for bringing Rhonda back to me, stranger.” Says Tabitha and out of the corner of her eye she spotted Boone holding his rifle steady, just waiting for the mutant to try anything.

“Here take this, I won’t be needing it anymore.” Tabitha handed Amari a key and that’s when she realized the building off to the side they couldn’t get into must’ve been holding that mechanic held captive. 

“You’re welcome Tabitha. But, what’re you gonna do now?” 

“I don’t know.. With Rhonda back I don’t know what I’ll do now.” With that Rhonda spoke up, “Mistress Tabitha, we should be heading off now. Our journey has been _much_ delayed, but we can catch up if we hurry along now. Come now.” 

“Yes, Rhonda.” And with that Tabitha stalks off with Rhonda to wherever they were meant to go six years ago. 

“Never have I ever been that close to a super mutant.” Says Veronica and Boone seconds that briefly. 

“Guess we should go tell that guy he’s free to go now.” Boone says after holstering his rifle to his back. “I’m gonna wait at the gate, make sure no mutants are planning to come up here.” 

“Yeah, I got it.” 

“Hello?” Says Amari as she opens the door, but no one was inside. Just two terminals and another doorway. Then she heard a voice behind the door. “I’m in here, you here to save this damsel in distress?” Says a man and Amari recognized the slight-accent to his voice. 

Opening the door she came eye to eye to a Ghoul. She’d never personally met one before or at least never remembered personally meeting one, so the look on her face must’ve looked rude guessing by his facial expression towards her.

“M’sorry, I.. I’ve never met someone like you before- uhm- Well at least I don’t know if I have.” Amari awkwardly laughs, “It’s alright boss. So am I free to go now? Or should I remain here where Ive been psychologically and physically damaged, even longer.” 

“Huh- Oh, no, no, no one is keeping you here anymore. Who are you anyway?” 

“Raul. Raul Tejada. And you boss?” Amari cringed at the ‘boss’, “Amari is fine, you don’t have to say boss.” 

“Amari? That’s a unique name.” He points out grabbing his now packed knapsack. 

“So, we headed out?” _Wait._

“Wait you wanna come with me?” 

“Sure, I mean why else did you come up here other than to save this damsel in distress that also just so happens to be a walking workbench.” _He has a point_.

“Well. You’re welcome to join my dysfunctional family, but there’s a lot of us and also a robot. So if you change your mind I don’t blame you.” She admits as they exit the building and watch as the sun was beginning to set. 

“Another stray I presume?” Remarks Arcade and Veronica clapped him on the back to shut him up. 

“We get to go inside the Lucky 38? Wow boss you must be important if Mr. House is letting you stay here.” Raul says upon entering the casino floor. “I’m not really important.” Victor greeted Amari telling her Mr. House wants to speak with her. 

“I’ll see you guys later.” Amari got in the elevator first to head up. 

As the gang entered the elevator Veronica spoke up, “I think I’m gonna try making those radscorpion casseroles Amari made-“ And Boone snapped back, “Leave the cooking to those who can.” It was Veronicas turn to have her eyes almost roll out of her head. 

“I’m fucking exhausted I’m not cooking.” Was the first thing Amari said as soon as she walked through the elevator doors and straight into her bedroom, slamming the door shut behind her.

Veronica had a mouthful of semi-burnt casserole as Amari came through and had no chance to say anything by the time she swallowed her food down. And ED-E let out a worried series of beeps as they went to knock at the door, and they were the only thing she let in the room that night. 

“I dunno who is right, who is wrong..” She murmurs staring longingly at the platinum chip. “What if I just.. Destroyed it. Let Mr. House have only what he has now and make due with it. But he’s- he doesn’t even care about anyone but himself and his Pre-War minded bullshit Ugh-“ She ruffled her hair like crazy before laying flat on the floor as her stomach began to grumble hungrily. 

“Can you bring me potato crisps Eddie?” 

“ _< Affirmative beeps>_” Somehow ED-E opened the door on their own, which made her lift herself up onto her elbows to look at the doorway. 

“You’re pretty loud for someone sleeping.” Boone says as potato crisps landed in Amari’s lap. 

“I.. Come in?” Without a word he came in and shut the door behind him. Possibly aggravating future ED-E for locking them out. 

It was just silence between them other than the crunching of chips in Amari’s open mouth, she didn’t realize it but she ate certain foods with her mouth open and one of them was chips. He didn’t know why but he knew she did. 

“What’d you hear?” 

“Walls are pretty thick so.. Just echoes of your voice.” Boone says taking a seat at the edge of her bed next to her. 

“I’m sorry.” Amari looked over to Boone from the floor and put the box to the side. 

“Mr. House wants me to go to The Fort and activate some stupid fucking base below them for his robot army to take over the fuckin’ Mojave- And the more I think on it the more I realize how much he doesn’t even _care_ about anyone but himself and his fucking Strip. An Independent Vegas sounds great and all but not with someone like him! I mean what has he done to help Freeside? The roads could be safer with his help and what does he do? Keep them on the strip! Sucking up the NCRs money who have been fighting the fucking Legion this whole time while they spread their resources thin and— Ugh I’m _tired_.” She groans putting her hands over her face as a headache from annoyance was boiling on the back burner. 

“I don’t know what to do.. I- I’d rather go to Cottonwood Cove and kill every single enslaving bastard in my sight.” She admits after having stood up and made a show with the Mark throwing it on the bed next to Boone who took a closer look at it. 

“Then that’s what _we’ll_ do.” 

“What?” 

“I’m with you. If that’s what you wanna do— I’ll be by your side. And by doing that we can cripple them by taking that place down.” Boone was genuine with his words and she knew that. He really was on her side- He’d really go somewhere where they could be outnumbered and take those scum off that part of the map. 

“You’re really with me?” 

“I’m with you.” Boone stood up making Amari step back a little as the height difference hit her. It wasn’t a big gap, she was up to his collarbones and he was what- about six foot. 

Amari stuck her hand out for Boone to shake, “Than let’s give those son of a bitches hell- Once we- have a plan and stuff- and the ammunition cause I’m sure they’ll be a lot- and I need a scope on my rifle still- I-“ Boone had already let go of her hand and rolled his eyes a little at her ranting. 

“Lets get to planning then.” 


	8. taste of vengeance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> as the gang develops a plan of working from the ground up to get the NCR and Freeside together before the Legions attack, they meet a stranger that lost people to the Legion.   
> and he has to re-visit a nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the past couple chapters (including this one and previous) were odd chapters since I already wrote chapters in future tense, so if the templates of this and the prev chapter is off to you that’s why. i promise the next ones while be better :)

Amari made quick work on her ambitions. Just like that they started working from the roots of NCR and the Mojave’s people’s needs. After helping Freeside get their water situation under control, they assisted the sharecroppers farm owned by the NCR and found themselves in Aerotech Suites where a refugee camp was. 

And that was where they ran into Frank Weathers. At the moment it was just Veronica and Amari as they entered the tent, Raul was busy fixing pipes and Arcade was teaching the locals basics in the event they couldn’t make it to The Old Fort. Boone was with ED-E at Camp McCarran looking for anything he could do to help. 

It went like that for a couple weeks. Till Boone and Amari finally devised a plan after speaking with First Sergeant Astor from Camp Searchlight on the ham radio and they were off. 

“Down at Cottonwood Cove just before the Legion settled down there we sent down part of the radiation containers down to the docks to be shipped away. But then they settled there and took it over.” Sergeant Astor took his cigarette bud and threw it away with the flick of his wrist. “So it’s your call if you wanna utilize it to take them out. Or not. Either way we need them flushed out and if you go in full force as two I don’t know if that’s gonna work out. There’s also Cottonwoods Overlook if you think you can take them out- though I don’t doubt you can with your First Recon friend.” 

“Alright. Let’s get going Boone.” ED-E was also along for the fight as they avoided the irradiated area and hugged the west side to head straight down toward Cottonwood Cove, and as they climbed up the ridge to get atop the Overlook Boones steps became slower and more hesitant before he stopped in front of her. 

“I was here before.” Amari fully turned to him and she could feel her heart sink and slingshot back up. He looked almost- mortified to look over the ridge. 

“You knew Carla was dead but.. You never told me how you knew,” She knew she’d pulled a heartstring once she heard his voice. 

“She... I tracked her down, lead me here. They were selling her by the river. I saw it through my scope.” Amari suddenly put the puzzle pieces together and found herself placing a hand over her heart as he continued, “Hundreds of them. Bidding for things no man has a right to—“ Amari knew he was holding back his pain- tears- or maybe he’d already cried it all out and was just left with that aching burn. 

“I just had my rifle with me. Just me, against all of them. So... I took the shot.” Amari audibly gasped at that and covered her mouth as she did so, feeling her eyelids burns with that same heartbreak while reading the ledger of Carla she found in Jeannines safe. 

“I.. I don’t know what I would’ve done but I know what they do to women.. Is worse, worse than death.” Amari admits and it was more to herself as she dug her nails into her arm. 

“There was never any saving her— What I did.. That was the only rescue.” Boone swayed his head as he furrowed his brows angrily. “You take out a debt..” He scoffed at himself, “It was only a matter of time before it came for its payment. And that was it. I was _meant_ to pull that trigger.” 

“You make it sound like she was destined to die Boone.” Amari could only see her reflection in his aviators not his eyes— and that was one thing she hated about his sunglass wearing habit. 

“It was always gonna be something. If I’d never met Carla it would’ve been something else. I should’ve never gotten close to her.” Amari shook her head. “I’ve got bad things coming to me. You’d be wise to keep your distance too.” 

_ He sounds like my old voice.  _

_ The one I hear in my dreams. _

“Why do you think you have bad things coming you way?” And the big sigh he heaved made her realize something big she’d never realized. First Recon was there. That day. In Bitter-Springs.

“Because fair is fair Amari.” 

“This ones for Carla.” And Boone had an almost smile, one of pain sewed by regret and guilt but she knew his eyes were filled with a vengeance behind those sunglasses, it was time to get down. 

“Sick em’” Amari says as they both lined their first shots up. 

After that it was an onslaught of fires being shot, and Legionaries frantically moving about to try and find the snipers location as they were gunned down like the scum they were. Even if they tried to make their way up the road to them they were either limbless or headless before they could be reached. 

It went like that for a while, pure vengeance filled silence between the two as they shot them all down from the snipers nest. The methodical reloading and cocking of their rifles after every shot. 

“I think that’s all of them.” Looking down at her feet she saw all the gun casings on the ground and whistled at the red ground. “Now lets get these people outta here and to the refugee camp at the Old Mormon Fort.” She says after giving Boone a clap on the shoulder she stalked off ahead. 

After finding the deactivation codes for the bomb collars on a dead body near the cages, Amari released every single one of them. Some of them giving small thank you’s, bless you’s, etcetera. 

“Are you Mrs. Weathers?” She asks after removing the collars off a whole family. It was an educated guess. 

“Y-Yes.. Don’t tell me he’s been looking for me,” Amari saw the worry on the families face after she’d named the man. “Well, yes he said you’d all been captured?-“ 

“He ran away, left us to fend for ourselves. We were running away from him when we ran straight into the Legion. If we knew running from him would lead us to enslavement we would’ve rather stayed.” The woman sighed with fatigue as she wiped the sweat off her forehead with shaking hands. Amari handed them water she had on her person. 

“Well. If you’re having domestic troubles I’d go to the Old Mormon Fort instead. I’ll have a chat with Frank about your abuse.” The woman laughed. “If you can get through to him I owe you a cold nuka-cola young lady. But even though he’s abusive he wasn’t _always_ like that. He was a kind man. I know deep down he still is. Please get to him.” With that the woman left with her children and Boone was seen behind her shoulder coming in, his rifle holstered this time. 

“Help me search the buildings. Any patrol notes. Radio frequencies. Anything useful, we grab.” 

They’d hauled all the useful things they’d found at Cottonwood Cove and told Sgt. Astor to send NCR troops that way soon before the Legion took that area back. The more ground the better. 

“I’m impressed. You still got it for a retired First Recon.” Sgt. Astor says on their way out. 

Amari idly kicked rocks as they walked. Decided to pit-stop at Boulder City for a restock, and to sell the goodies they got from that base. The silence was a bit deafening, since usually it was comfortable. But now it felt like things that needed to be said were being left. 

“Boone you must’ve been at Bitter-Springs.. What happened there?” He was about to dodge the question. She could tell by the movement of his jaw as he put his words together. 

“It was a.. Miscommunication.” 

“That was some miscommunication.” Amari remarked 

“Yeah, well. That’s how they wrote it in the report.” He says as they stop walking and take a seat on the floor letting their feet dangle off the side, where the old train tracks lied. 

“Lot of people died that day. That’s war. But looking back maybe you’d do something different though, that’s not how that works. In the field,” He crossed his arms over his chest for a moment, “You hesitate, or make a mistake and you or someone you care about will die. That’s what we’re taught since day one.” Amari realized how they truly stripped civilians and turned them into almost- singular thinking drones. Unable to think for themselves- but how could she really have an opinion on that. 

“Is that it? You have regrets from that time?” Boone half shrugged with a head shake, his eyes unreadable under the sunglasses. “You don’t come out of a tour without regrets. It’s best to just not think about it.” 

“So you think because of.. What you did at Bitter-springs that, you’ve been punished?” 

“ _Being_ punished. Mine isn’t over..” Amari turned the opposite direction to hide the look on her face, she knew he didn’t want to see that look. 

“Boone that’s.. Thats not how life works-There’s just times in people’s lives where, where there’s just a bad string of luck..” She sighed keeping her eyes mostly to the dry cracked ground. 

“That’s what they tell you in the casinos to get you to buy back in. I made that mistake already. And look what it did to me. To _her_.” Boone’s voice was low like he was trying to hold in the tremor in his voice as they came to a stop by the water. “That’s all fates doing now. Waiting for me to buy back in. To remind me of what I did.” 

“How do you know it’s not over?.. Your ‘punishment’.” 

“Because I’m _still_ alive.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was a bit of a shortie (i think), so yeah anyway can’t wait for things to be even more angst filled. the next chapters are going to be very intense! i won’t get into it too much bc i’ll basically spoil it and i honestly prob would bc of the fun I’m having writing this


	9. rexie and friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> helloooo this took so long for me to post bc i already had chapters made ahead and i had to figure out like- how i wanted to align everything. i appreciate the patience of those that have been enjoying this with me :) 
> 
> also i started working so if there’s a month that passes without me posting (most likely not bc i write any moment i can for fun) so yeah...

“We’re gonna die out. Whether slow or at an instant it’s gonna happen Ama and Elder McNamara doesn’t wanna budge at all- But he _knows_ this. Knows what’s gonna happen- we’re not gonna outlast the NCR, we’ve hardly been a problem compared to the Fiends and they don’t have Power Armor or Laser weapons! Just guns and rags for clothes.” Veronica looked like she was about to have an anxiety attack and Amari’s heart ached at the sight as she continued her worries as venting to her and anyone else that happened to stumble into the living area. 

Raul has been around for a long time, long enough to know about the many downfalls of factions, and her mind _was_ in the right place. He’d seen factions that had been isolationists die out, or get killed for all they got when their numbers dwindled enough. The Brotherhood wasn’t a faction that liked his kind of human, but he knew they were knowledgeable and with the right leadership could probably change and help the Mojave. 

_ Maybe.  _

“Yeah well, I’m headed to Jacobstown. I’ll probably be gone for a few days honestly, I dunno how long this’ll take.” Amari says across the table from Arcade and the way he tensed up at the mention of Jacobstown didn’t go over Boone’s head. 

“You going it alone?” Amari shook her head, mouth full with a Deathclaw omlette even though it was the afternoon. “Takin’ Ed-“ 

“Just Ed?”

“And Rexie! I used to travel alone all the time before I met you guys, Eddie and Rex count.” Raul was getting a little itchy for traveling so he offered to come instead of ED-E, and it eased Arcades a _little_ overbearing worry. 

“You didn’t have to come, but I’m glad I have someone to talk to-“ Amari says as they looted some Fiends that thought they were getting the jump on some dumbasses. 

“I was itchin’ to travel boss, thought maybe you forgot about me or didn’t wanna travel with me.” He admits and Amari pouted but it was apologetic. “Oh- I, sorry, I’m just so used to traveling with Boone.. Or ED-E only. You could’ve told me you wanted to travel,” She pressed, hiding her facial expression as they walked further from The Strip. 

“That’s alright boss, I love staying inside, it’s very healthy for a Ghoul to be alone.” Amari looked to him to make sure he was joking, and he was but she still felt there was a little playful guilt-trip in it. “Yeah, I travel with Arcade most the time. But not many gun fights when I’m with him. He likes to avoid confrontation any way he can- Arcade has a smart mouth, and I don’t mean it in a bad way.” 

“He’s great with words. Me? Not so much.” Amari laughs at herself remembering the way she’d convinced a Fiend she was a maintenance guy when there was nothing to maintain. Though she didn’t think that counted towards her speech abilities. 

“Boss, didn’t you convince Tabitha you were a first gen super mutant? With your voice?” 

“Oh right- Well thats doesn’t count. Not to me.” She shrugs as Rex stopped his strut to look back and see if Amari and Raul were still behind. Rex liked to be in front for some reason, and Ama placed that habit with protectiveness for his owners 

They’d walked in silence for a while before Raul gasped like he’d had some realization and clapped his fist lightly into his hand, “Ah, boss you’re real sneaky. I can’t believe I didn’t notice it earlier.” 

“Notice what? My head scar?” She half-joked as they started reaching snow caps the higher they went on the mountain. 

“No boss, you and Boone. If i’d known I wouldn’t have offered to come so quick, I don’t think he was happy not coming with.” Amari stopped in her tracks before laughing hysterical, “You’re funny Raul- Ha- Heh- Really!” When she’d finally calmed down she walked ahead to catch up with Rex and Raul was left with many question marks above his head. 

_ Oh. I guess not? No. No. Es cierto. I’m winning my bet with Arcade. _

“You do realize that when you turn into a ghoul the aging process is stopped right? I met a kid ghoul that’s been twelve since the bombs dropped.. But I guess it’s all in the mind.” She shrugged, “And you’re _not_ useless. You’re not just suddenly deemed unworthy once you hit a certain age.” Raul laughed at that but sighed. 

“Boss if you really think so. Then I wanna meet some of these worthy old guys you’re referring to.” 

“Yes, I used to work with The Enclave years ago. I specialized in cybernetic advancements, just so happens I had delved into dog cybernetics.. From what you’ve explained he’ll need a brain implant- I know of a few places you can get replacements from.” He brought the duo over to the Mojave’s map. 

“One of the leaders of the Fiends, Violet, breeds mongrels and I’m sure if you bring back one of the brains of her mongrels it will provide an upgrade to Rex’s speed functionality.” Then he move daway from the Vault 3 area and towards The Fort. “The Legion also breed Mongrels, strong too. This could improve Rex’s strength if that was a want or-“ He slid his finger to Novac. “I know an old friend Gibson. She has plenty of dogs. Check in with her to see if she has any good brain replacements. Come back here with the _intact_ brain including the cord and I shall perform the surgery to my ability— Here put the brain in this container with the ectoplasm. It will keep it fresh.” 

Amari handed off the container to Raul and turned to Rex. “Hey boy, you’re doing great buddy. We’re gonna get you a new brain and you’ll be good as new.. Stay boy.” Rex whimpered when told to stay but obeyed and laid down by the door as she walked off with Raul. 

Raul suddenly spoke up as they walked, “Despite being so old, he still to this day uses his knowledge and is useful. Makes me think about how I help you and the others with their repairs.. I could be useful even at an ancient age.” 

“You’re not... Ancient Raul,” she laughed, “You might feel like it though after this trip, we have to go to Novac for Rexies brain.. Since we cleared Black Mountain we can take a shortcut through there, but we still need to watch for Deathclaws.” Raul hummed in thought, “Guess the NCR is so busy with la pingas bocas good with blades they forget about all the people they’ve neglected.” Raul comments and Amari choked on her saliva at his nickname for the Legion. “Oh my god—! Ha! I didn’t expect you- didn’t expect you to say that,” she says trying to come down from her fit of laughs. 

“Am I really that funny boss?” Raul smiles, “Si, si, ustedes muy gracioso Raul.” And Raul made a face of pleasant surprise at her distinct accent. “You sound like a native to Español. You sure you don’t remember your background?” Amari sighed with a head shake, “No.. But I find myself familiar with different languages still, at least I can communicate easily with people I guess. I’d like to remember though. Place things in my head easier.” 

“Oh.. My dear Irene, poor Irene. She’s having heart palpitations at such a young age. One of them Followers told me my girl wouldn’t have that long till it gave out- so I’ll give you my girls brain.” Says Gibson as the tired dog next to her whined im fatigue. “Thank you Miss Gibson, I owe you one.” 

Amari removed the brain as respectfully as she could, putting Irene down, and cleanly removing it while keeping her intact for Gibsons burial. Popping it into the hoop in the container for preservation the duo left for Jacobstown again. Watching as the sun began to set. 

_ Can’t believe nothing.. Is happening today? Y’know what lens not jinx this nice day with these thoughts. _

On the way back she noticed figures around the entrance of Jacobstown and furrowed her brows, “Look like mercs mija. You wanna approach or head in first?” As Raul said a possible plan she remembered something. 

“Those aren’t mercs.. Look at their weapons- they’re definitely Legion.. But why the hell would they-“ Amari yanked Raul by his jumpsuit and brought him into the brush as she saw a man walk off on the road, “They’re either here to clear this out and set up base right by the Strip or.. They’re here for me-“ 

“I can deliver the brain boss, if they’re here for you they shouldn’t care about me-“ 

“They’d kill you just for looking at them. You already know how they feel about ghouls. Come this way.” Raul and Amari make their way around them, climbing over a ledge on the right side of the entrance where they slide off the slope of snow. “Take the brain inside and tell Jacob to get ready for an attack. I’ll be out here and try to pick them off once I hear a gunshot go off.” Amari says before giving him a boost over the wall. 

Raul quickly told Jacob what was going on before doing as he was told and brought the brain inside for Doctor Henry. As he did so he heard the first shot ring off. 

“You can do this Rex we’ll be right back boy,I have to help our amiga.” 

It’d been so long since he’d been in a fight like this, his trigger finger having rotted mostly off and his legs not feeling like what it used to. He ran to the gates and shot up anybody that shot at him, feeling just like he did when he was La Vaquero. 

Most of them had died or fled but as he went searching for his amiga he heard struggling in the brush and quickly made his way through. “Get-“ Amari’s voice could be heard as a shrill and once he’d seen what was happening he shot the man in the head splattering his face into a bloody mess. 

“Que paso? Where did he hurt you? Ama?” _Shit_. She passed out from the shock and possibly the blood loss. As quickly as he could he carried her back inside and asked Calamity for help. 

She gladly helped the kind woman and found she’d been cut in the artery by her thigh, and was grateful it hadn’t been a wider cut. “She may not be able to walk on that leg, unless she take some Med-X for a while. But I _highly_ recommend staying here for a week or two before heading on home. She also was cut here- and here- This is something you really shouldn’t try and walk off.” Says Calamity placing a cool rag atop Amari’s forehead. 

“I can’t help but feel like this is my fault- I shouldn’t have listened to this girl. Should’ve went with my gut—“ 

“Well. What happened, happened. At least she is breathing and has the option of full recovery Raul.” She explains after giving her stimpacks on the damaged areas to help with her cell regeneration. 

“You’re right. But still. A friend is supposed to protect,” Calamity hums, “We’ve been around for so long. We know that things just _happen_ and we can’t control it sometimes. Now let’s just stay positive and wait Raul.” 

She’d been out for two days, after physically exerting herself and the blood loss combined in one big box with a bow on top. Amari was exhausted and she wanted to go to the Lucky 38 and be in her bed. In her warm pre-war sheets probably talking to Boone about something silly or serious. Or tinkering with Veronica who was still setting up the ham radio to Amari’s Pip-Boy. Or speaking to Aracde about past things he went through, things he’d like to try. Politics, and what could be done for the Mojave. He kept her brain going. And Raul was always full of wisdom and stories, he did most of the talking really when they were working together. She liked it. 

But she was here in Jacobstown. Alone. Of course she had Rex, but he couldn’t talk. Just cuddle and give her emotional support and loving licks when she was sad. Amari didn’t realize how much she depended on people to keep her going- if she lived alone she really wouldn’t be much. Just like she is now. 

Amari instructed Raul to go back to the Lucky 38 and tell them the situation, and to also pass on the news to The King that Rex had his implant and was with Amari. He sent his condolences and told Raul to tell her he’d like a drink with her some time. And when he’d gotten back to the Lucky 38 Boone was pissed she didn’t bring him along, while the others were grateful she was healing at Jacobstown. A place that never really got hit and minded it’s business. It was good for now. 

“I wish you could talk Rexie.. I like talking at night..” Amari huffs looking out the fogged dirty window and out at the sky. “Everyone’s asleep. Everyone’s thoughts are off into their dreams. Leaving those awake with clearer thoughts.. Clearer conversations..” Rex whined at her sad sigh and brushed his nose at her hands asking for pets most likely so he could get some pets, and  shook the weird tingle of fear it made her stomach do at the sound of a knock at the door. Amari didn’t know if she should pretend to be asleep or answer the door. 

It was light enough that she knew it was human sized and not Jacob asking how she was, but it had a weight to it. A weight she recognized. A pattern she recognized. _There was no way._ With a shaky voice she answered, “C-Come in.” It was dark in her room so she could tell really who it was but- she knew that stature and that slouch. That tight, strategic walk and weighted step. 

Amari stood up with a fat smile on her face quickly trying her best to stand, making Rex move back and wag his tail excitedly as he felt the sudden change in energy from his owner. “Boone.” Her leg was still in pain so upon standing on it she winced and stumbled forward a little making Boone close the gap between them quickly and helped her stabilize herself. 

“Amari.” She huffed air out of her nose at the sound of his voice, full of relief and wholeness hearing a friends voice and barely there touch. 

“Miss me?” Amari asks and the soft smile she pulls out of him looked brighter then the moon light rays peeking through the window. 

“I guess..” That was good enough for her and he was glad it was. She sat back down on her bed and laid back down remembering she wasn’t exactly best dressed and covered herself as she motioned for him to sit with her and Rex on the bed, but Rex didn’t like the crowding and huffed in annoyance as he went to the floor and laid on a rug by the door. 

“Raul told me about what happened.” Amari felt like she knew where this was going, feeling his thoughts practically flowing out in front of her. “I know what you’re gonna say Boone.. Can we just not talk about anything bad right now? I- I’m not feeling well.” She whipped her head toward the window and wiped her eyes on her sleeve- _his_ sleeve. He _knew_ a shirt was missing from his drawer. It would’ve made him smile if he didn’t feel so guilty, but she wanted to speak on nothing negative so he complied. 

“I _knew_ my shirt was stolen. You said it got lost in the wash.” He smirked and huffed a laugh when she giggled. “I like it, and besides maybe you should wash your own clothes if you don’t want it to be stolen.. Besides I’m glad I.. Had it in my pack. I don’t think I’d’ve lasted long without it.” Boone didn’t know what that meant really and didn’t have an answer to that. But if the shirt made her feel better than it did and he wasn’t gonna be stingy over a shirt he’s worn-out. 

“At least my shirt was here for you while I was away from you.” 

“I thought we agreed-“ 

“I wasn’t there when you needed me Ama-“ Boone grit his teeth 

“So what? This isn’t-“ 

“Do you not understand how _I_ felt?!” Boone outlashed a little slamming his hand on the bed and Rexie growled a little in warning but Ama raised her hand to calm him before turning back to Boone. 

“What’re you-“ 

“I wasn’t there.. For my Father, for Carla... For you.” Amari shook her head and pushed her hair out of her face, she didn’t know what to say to that- 

She didn’t even know why she was on that level of importance as Carla and his own Father. But it still confused her as to why. 

“Boone.. I, I didn’t know you.. I didn’t want to bring you along cause I thought maybe you wanted a break from always being around me- and being put in danger every damn second we’re together.” 

“And you thought wrong. What makes you think that it makes me content to see you leave me behind and walk into unknown territory without me?” 

“Boone it isn’t that serious-“ 

“It’s fucking serious to me.” 

Amari frowned deeply and turned back to face him fully, “How can I take you serious when you’re wearing sunglasses in-fucking-side.” _Touché_. 

“You said we’re partners Ama. Snipers stick _together_.” He murmurs as he reluctantly removed his sunglasses and red target on the top of his head, “And.. I’m sorry for raising my voice.” 

“You’re right Boone.” Ama winced as she adjusted her leg on the bed, “And I accept your apology..” She half-smiled and shooed away Boones hands when he tried to help her adjust on the bed. 

“I’m not broken, just a little busted up.” Ama says and Boone scoffs, “Same thing Ama.” He says after insisting and helped her lay the way she wanted much easier by picking her up by the hips and Amari felt like an idiot for blushing at his touch. 

They didn’t _really_ have anything to talk about, or at least they thought. Hoped. With such a calm silence between them they liked, it allowed so many thoughts to flow and they’d been so immersed in their own heads it was just them, Rexs huffs every so often, some movement below of Nightkin, and the big horners that did their usual sounds. 

“I feel like I can sleep now with you here.” Boone smiled at that- a genuine smile. It felt good to be needed. 

“Me too.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they’re best friends or whateva


	10. the truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Sexual Assault  
> nothing explicit other than Benny opening Amari’s shirt w/o her consent and cursing. along with flashbacks to moments to her death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i realize my writing has become v dialogue heavy? bc I’m mostly a smut/short story writer not a whole plot writer LMAO. so this is my first plot writing. And i realize i should put more violence- hence fallout NV. bc although there are times i don’t run into enemies 10/10 i be getting legion assassins up my ass bc of my freeside/ncr rep. 
> 
> anyway get ready for more action and i’d also like to know opinions on including DLC.. I’ve always wondered what it’d be like if a companion joined the courier in the HH dlc.

To cope with what happened she started dreaming, concocting what happened that day. Amari didn’t kill Benny. Nor did she really even want to. He got away through his elevator in the back of his room, leaving Yes man behind. -

Benny heard them slam the first door and was out before Boone could slam the bedroom door in and catch him, but he left a trail behind dropping Maria on the ground while Boone tried to grab Benny before he got away and slammed the elevator door shut. 

“He left this.” Boone said picking Maria up from the ground to show Amari and he’d never seen her flinch away from something before till now. 

“Do you want it?”

“ _No_ .  Throw it away. Or something.”

Amari seethed before running out of the room and back to the Lucky 38’s Cocktail Lounge where she drank that failed night away from her memory. But there was no escaping it. 

The chip was still out there. And Amari knew it was coming close to them being kicked out the Lucky 38- that and the eerie feeling she got of being watched there was beginning to make her feel sick. 

“You fuckin’ scamp. You ratted didn’t you! I should fuckin’—“ Upon opening her shirt he saw it, the wire taped to her chest recording the whole thing. He was already caught, she had hard evidence she was gonna bring to Swank. But her rushed actions made the whole plan get fucked and the confession she needed wasn’t going to happen now. She was unarmed like an idiot and caught red-handed. 

He went to aim Maria at her, more over to threaten her to comply and she went into full feral fight or flight mode, kicking as hard as she could knocking Maria out of his hands and sending it across the room as Benny heard the Suites front doors get busted open. “This ain’t worth riskin’ everything I worked for baby. See ya!” Was all she could process as he ran off to some ripped out part of his apartment and everything blacked out for her. 

**_ “Oh, baby. You think you got away?” _ **

**_ No. Please- I was just beginning to forget. I was just-  _ **

**_ “You think you could kill me^? Get away from me? I’m always one step ahead.” Benny grabbed her rough by the cheek and pressed Maria against her temple.  _ **

“Amari!”  Boone had her in his arms, shaking her as gently as he could trying to wake her from her panicked dream. She stopped breathing and scared him to death. “Benny! He’s h- He’s here!” Amari was sobbing, trembling, stuttering, trying to stand up to get a head start on the run. “Benny isn’t here Amari—“ 

“He’s gonna m-m-“ He wouldn’t let go of her so she started pushing at him desperately trying to get out of his tight grip, even pushing at his face breathing unstable and throat dry from the gasps and hyperventilation. Amari couldn’t even see straight, and was dizzy with vertigo. She looked to the corner of the room and saw him standing there in the shadows and screamed bloody fucking murder, accidentally kneeing Boone in the stomach as she writhed and fell off the bed and onto the floor to climb under the bed and hide but he grabbed her just in time as people woke up from the screams and ran into the bedroom to find Boone trying to calm Amari down. 

Veronica went to grab some water and a wet rag, while Arcade tried to figure out if this was drug induced or PTSD. He figured it wasn’t drugs and tried to decide on using melatonin or not but he realized she woke up from a dream and probably didn’t like the idea of falling back asleep. So he just went to look for anything that could help and all he could find was candy he knew she liked and a random teddy bear for her sensory.

Boone managed to wrap the writhing girl in her blanket like a burrito to stop the fighting, but she was still crying and gasping for air as she laid on her back rolled up. When Arcade came back with Veronica, Arcade spoke up, “Did you trigger her Boone?” 

“What? No, I came in here because I heard crying—“ 

“She was crying in what sense-“ 

“Sleep- I woke her up-“ Boone says as Veronica came over and felt her forehead feeling a high fever. 

“Jesus, she’s burning up- Put her up against the bed post please Boone.” Arcade sat next to the shivering Amari as Raul entered the room with ED-E and was shocked to see his boss shivering like a leaf in fear. He didn’t know what to do so he just waited for direction if he was needed at the edge of the bed. 

Boone complied putting her up against the bed headboard so she could drink some water Arcade was given, and Veronica just placed the rag on her forehead to even out her temperature. 

“I don’t think we should let her stay alone tonight- or the rest of the week..” 

“I’m-“ Amari hiccuped still glancing at the corner of the room where the mirror stand that she thought was Benny. “M’fine..” Boone looked at her like she had said the most obscure thing, 

“No. You’re not.” 

“Amari what made you like this? What’d you dream about was it Benny?—“ Veronica hit a cord there and it almost made Amari completely snap as more tears fell down the sides of her face, holding in the painful burn of a cry in her throat. 

“Please don’t mention him.. Please..” Amari looked for solace and hid her face into Boone’s shoulder, her own hiccuping with every silent cry. “I wanna forget- I just wanna forget..” 

“I’m sorry we couldn’t catch him but—“ She was still going and it drove her fucking insane and right up the wall like a scared spider. 

“Get out- Please- Fucking _leave_ me alone!” Veronica was shocked at the response and was frozen in place, even Arcade didn’t know what to say to that but he knew this was how people responded when there was nothing to cling to. 

“Amari, Veronica is just trying to help you—“ He starts but Amari shook her head, “Please? I.. I don’t need all of you in here.. I don’t.. I’m fine really.” Boone’s lips were tightly shut as she spoke just watching everything go up and down with her like a rollercoaster. And the reflection he saw was uncanny. “I’ll get rest I promise.” 

Arcade didn’t want to comply, but he didn’t want to make her condition work. Though he made sure to say, “Okay. But you have to let me take a look at you tomorrow, and we’re _going_ to talk to Usanagi about things soon that you may not want to. Got it?” 

“Mhm..” Amari sniffled and looked down at her hand defeated as Arcade gave it a pat before they all left, worried Raul gave her what he managed as a soft smile before closing the door behind him. Though she asked ED-E to stay. She felt a little safer with them around. 

“M’sorry for hurting you- I didn’t want to, I was- I’m just so fucking scared and it’s _pathetic_. I know..” Boone gently pushed Amari further down the side of the bed so he could sit fully on the bed, and sighed through his nose, he didn’t really have a response to that but he knew she wasn’t pathetic. She was smart, kind, a thinker, ambitious, sometimes a little impish, but a good person. Something he wasn’t, though she would beg to differ, he knows she would if he said that.

“I know what it’s like. To see things you think are there. Whether you wish it was or wasn’t is different.” Boone went tense at the things he’d concocted in his dreams, the times he swore Carla was still in bed with him laid like a starfish over him.

“I partly feel like it’s my fault. That day. I shouldn’t have listened to you, I should’ve stayed by your side and- and now your nightmares are progressively getting worse. I feel like I’m to blame and I.. I feel like a terrible friend compared to you.” And the small cry Amari let out made him clench his fists, he could feel her soaked eyes against the back of his shoulder. 

“Don’t blame yourself.. That’s the last thing I want you to say Boone.” The conversations layout after that was jumbled. He wasn’t as good as he thought he was at this, comforting. But she liked it, or so he thought since the silence between them was replaced with her deep inhales and exhales against his back. They sounded calm and without tremble so he felt he must’ve done something right. 

Just as he went to leave for the night she pawed at him in her sleep, grip tight on his night shirt with the one free hand she had. Boone realized she was holding onto him the whole time he was seated there, and it did something to him he couldn’t place. 

Boone wasn’t going to listen to the insecure voice in the back of his head and stayed, for as long as she needed or until she let go. But she didn’t. And he never left her side that night. 

Boone groaned at the sunlight that peered through Amari’s windows and went to stretch out his aching limbs only to stop as he felt a weighing down on his body, and looked down to find her latched onto his right side like a sloth does to a tree. 

He didn’t know if he should try and move or wait for her to wake up- looking over her features he noticed some new beauty marks and freckles around the sides of her eyes had grown after hours in the sun everyday, the dark circles that had been growing over the past few weeks softened a little, and her hair now touched her eyebrows and could be swiped behind her ears. 

That same feeling from Jacobstown came back the longer he looked at her, remembering the last time she’d been so close to him was when he couldn’t take leaving her alone any longer at Jacobstown and hiked up there after another dream of her returning hurt or worse. 

_ I haven’t felt like this since... No. There’s no way. She’s my partner.  _

Amari pressed her face into the warmth against her cheek and was about to wrap her legs tighter around her pillow when she’d realized it was definitely not a pillow. With a shocked gasp she sat up, almost falling off the bed in the process. “Boone- Oh shit, I forgot you were here uhm- Lets pretend that never happened.” She apologized and Boone rubbed the back of his neck and found himself unable to agree to forgetting about it. 

“Are we heading out?” Boone asked after they laid in silence for so long, Amari’s hair was a mop on her head and puffed like a mushroom cloud. So when she shook her head her hair followed and it was a lie if he said it wasn’t one of the cutest things he’d seen in a while.

“I’m.. I’m still not feeling well and, I think the Mojave could live a day without us stepping outside and doing- something.” Amari made a seat out of the desk Running his hand against the stubble of the growing hair on his head. 

“Me neither.” Arcade told him he should do this so he is. “Is your feeling the same as mine?” Amari was a bit shocked by his forthcoming with that information since usually it took a little prying and some elbow grease to get him to speak about how he felt. 

“Yes, I- Uhm..” She was nervous and didn’t know how he’d react to the idea she was getting from the dreams and small remnants of voices speaking to her, and she ended up backing out of what she was going to say and settled on something else. “It’s just the headaches and stuff- Y’know being headshot and all..” 

“Are you dreaming of him?”

“ _No_.” She kinda spat it at him and quickly regretted it, Boone wasn’t trying to trigger her. 

“Well yes.. And you?” Boone was hoping they’d talk more about her since it felt like she was always helping him. But she was so vague with him, it was hard to get her to open up verbally more- which seemed like it should be the other way around. 

“I.. Had the same dream like the last one I told you but- I was in Bitter-springs.. And I saw a face I thought I forgot. Made me feel sick.” Amari brought her knees up to her face and leaned against them with a frown, “Usually dreams mean something.. Sometimes they don’t, but maybe these are meaning something to you.” 

“And what exactly do you think it means?” Boone wasn’t into superstitions but he’d believe anything from his long he’d been traveling with Amari. 

“Maybe you should visit Bitter-springs..? It might help you collect your thoughts, change your dreams maybe. Ever since you came with me to Goodsprings cemetery my dreams haven’t been only of that night.” Boone didn’t like the idea, it was clear in his eyes that she could see clearly without those sunglasses blocking her view. She hoped he’d agree but it seemed like he wouldn’t just from his facial expression that turned sour real quick. 

“I don’t think that’d help me in any way. I don’t think anything would-“ 

“Just think on it Boone. Please?” Boone scowled but it didn’t remain too long after she’d asked him so kindly.

So maybe he had a soft spot for his buddy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope this chapter was good and I’m excited to improve my plot writing, i feel like i’ve been a little bland with things.


	11. repconn, yearning, and an old ‘friend’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here’s sum action- sum spice- sum character appearance- sum forgiveness- sum.. hm and sum hard headed bimbos. They’re both block heads when it comes to emotions uwu
> 
> TW: reference to rape, death, and drug abuse

“Heyso, I made a promise to help Novac with the feral problem. So I’m making good on that promise- weeks and.. weeks later.” Amari murmured the last part a little and puffed her cheeks up, remembering she’d get to it quickly and never did till now. 

The ferals on the main road weren’t much of a problem, though as they neared the building more poured out from the sound of gunshots, and Amari switched to Lucky for close range since they’d be entering a close quartered building now. Though upon entering Boone heard a static filled voice reach out to him on an intercom, and pulled Amari back by the collar of her coat to turn back around and listen with him. 

“Hey you! Head through the East Wing and you should find the walkway toward our side of the building.” 

“Who’re you?-“ Boone asks but just as quick the intercom cuts off leaving him agitated in silence with Amari. 

“They’re probably just people stuck inside because of the ferals, we have a job to clear them anyways.” Amari yawns tiredly for the twentieth time today as they walked up the steps and took out stray ferals. Though now it was just eerily quiet as they made it to the walkway that connected to an area above ground that went straight to the doorway with an intercom and they figured that was the spot. 

Without another thought Amari made her way across the walkway, but Boone had been eyeing a part of the walkway skeptically for too long and was about to reach forward and pull Amari back but she was out of reach. The walkway trembled under his feet and Amari turned around worried as they both made eye contact, waiting for something to happen. But nothing did and Amari sighed with relief, making her way across the path again only for the platform under her to collapse into the second platform and creaked dramatically. 

“Amari!” Boone looked down and saw her dazed on her back, just about ready for a nap as she tried to catch her breath, no less probably having had all the air in her body knocked out of her. He was surprised she wasn’t going into cardiac arrest. Just when he thought it couldn’t get any worse the second platform below gave out and sent her to the ground with a roll, knocking her head-gear off on impact as she laid lifeless. 

_ Oh fuck. Fuck. Fuck. _

Loud growls and groans of ferals waking up echoed throughout the large room and Boone quickly shot a fire off on a feral that had been resting on the floor, and two seemed to flood into the room running top speed toward the unconscious Amari. Boone’s gut was shaking in fear as he killed as many ferals that dared come out from their hiding to try and eat his friend. 

By the time he’d killed them all there was a display of ferals around her body, and after making extra sure no other ferals were around he climbed down instead of walking around. Too afraid to leave her out of his sight. Once he’d gotten to the ground he picked up her helmet that laid feet away and looked at the battered back of it. 

_ If she wasn’t wearing this.. _

“Amari?” He carefully rolled her onto her side, placing his index finger under her nose to check for breathing. And two firm fingers onto the side of her neck for a pulse. Her breathing was light, but the blood was pumping no less. Boone gently rolled his hand from the start of her vertebrae to the end and was relieved he was safe to move her. 

Despite not being an expert in the medical field, they make sure soldiers know the basics enough, and to know whether or not it’s safe to move a soldier without a stretcher. Sometimes moving someone could kill them or cripple them. He’d seen it happen. A soldier had been shot in the back and instead of waiting for a field medic they moved him and permanently fucked his backside. No way was he hurting his friend on accident. 

Boone picked her up bridal style in his arms and took the steps back up the platform, being extra careful this time, and banged his foot into the door as soon as he got to the door. 

“Open this goddamn door. _Now_.” 

“So you’re the smooth skin?-“ 

“I don’t do the talking. She does. Take me to a bed or I’ll fill you with lead.” Boone wasn’t usually so hostile, but he needed his friend in a bed getting hydrated. Not weak and concussed in his arms. 

That scared the pretend ghoul and immediately he’d shown him to a free bed in some back room, and Boone immediately laid her down and checked for a fever. That’s when the Jason Bright came in the room with a experienced medical member , “Im Jason, Jason Bright. This is Lisa she’s just gonna make sure there isn’t anything broken on your friend and will be here if you need anything for her.” 

Boone needed the help so he nodded his head and let Lisa come closer to Amari. He didn’t have a thing against Ghouls. He had a thing against strangers. So, he wasn’t exactly giving his best face at the moment. 

“Did a demon do this to her? What happened? Why were you so angered with Chris in the first place?” 

“The platform your pretend ghoul told us to take sent her flying to the ground and straight into a feral ghouls den. Excuse me for being tempted to give him a taste of my rifle.” Then it hit him. _Demons_? “What do you mean ‘demons’? You mean those ferals?” Then he remembered seeing a murdered Nightkin by a doorway.

“They appeared at random in our home, opening the doors and allowed our lost friends to leave to the wastes were they’d be killed for who they are. Maybe they never truly _did_ appear. They were like a ghost, a whisper of a silhouette. Attacked us from our home in the basement and so we locked them down there to keep them away. But-“ 

“I see.” Was all he said before turning his attention back to Amari when the woman had said she was done tending to Amari, and listened carefully to her instructions on what to do after she woke up and where to find her. 

“I don’t want to hear your life’s troubleswhile my friend is unconscious next to me.” 

It’d been a few hours since Amari had been awake, and upon waking up all she could think about was Boone and falling. 

She’d rolled down a hillside happily, laying down on her back in a starfish pose staring up at the many stars in the sky you’d never be able to see on the East Coast. Not like this. 

“ _Amari_.” Said woman sat up and upon doing so was face to face with Boone, “Woah- hey- sorry didn’t know-“ she cleared her throat awkwardly as Boone looked at her. But it was weird the way he looked at her. It didn’t make sense but it made her head spin and gut churn as he ran his fingers through her hair. 

“What’re you—?” Amari gasped in surprise as he picked her up bridal style and shyly looked up at Boone from this new perspective as he walked back to the hideout they were using by Nipton. “ _Amari?_ ” 

“Yes?” He wasn’t answering her responses and it was starting to piss her off. Boone placed her on the bottom bunk, and intertwined their hands. 

“ _I’m sorry- I just wasn’t fast enough_..” 

“Boone why’re you speaking so cryptic?” 

“ _Please wake up_..” 

“I’m-“ Amari gasped with shock as she opened her eyes wide and looked up to a tattered hole in the wall above her, her body ached and she found her neck sore as she turned it to look down at her body laid out on a bed, spotting Boone laid with his head on the side of her legs with his arms crossed so he could lay his forehead against it. 

She remembered falling and everything blacking out, other than Boone’s voice keeping her conscious. Amari bit her lip with a frown as she remembered him trying to pull her back in time- She wondered if what she heard was really a dream made up by her. Or just his voice invading her dreams. Amari couldn’t really place it all. 

Looking down at her usually gloved hand she found Boone holding it. Probably to use as an alarm for when she moved. But she didn’t want to wake him- Amari wanted to delay it longer, he just looked so peaceful, and the usual frown or pinched brows he had were calm and flattened on his face. 

With her right hand she went to touch his scarred cheek, wondering what a deep wound like that would feel like under her skin- But she moved to much and he felt it from how tight he held her other hand and Asat up quickly. Almost slapping himself with her hand. 

“You’re finally awake.” He rubbed at his eyes with his free hand and Amari wondered if she should let his hand go or keep it there. 

“What happened?” Amari watched as his hand let go of her and she found herself rubbing her open palm into the sheets beneath her and squeezing it, so she could feel something filling her hand again and after she realized what she was doing she smoothed the bed out and looked to Boone. 

“Your fall attracted a herd of ghouls. I thought I was getting attacked but they were all on the same floor as you- Had to take them out from where I was.” Boone ran his hand through his scruff and then scoffed, “Oh and I met some people. Threatened some people. The usual.” 

“Wow, im glad you’re my partner, and you just can’t help yourself can you- S’Ouch-!” She rolled her sleeve up and realized her arm had bruised up. Amari remembered putting her arm out to catch her fall. 

“What is it? Is it broken?-“ 

“No, no, I’m fine.. Just bruised is all,” she says showing him the bruises on her forearm, and the barely there touch tracing her bruise made her purse her lips awkwardly. 

“You sure?” 

“Yeah. Nothing a little Med-X can’t fix.” 

“The Bright.. Brotherhood? original.” Amari says, after getting her bearings they headed towards Jason Bright to confront him about the ferals attacking the nearby settlement. 

“Right?” Boone gave her a huffed laugh through his nose and it upped her mood a bit to hear it. 

“You said something about-“ She looked to Boone who shrugged. “Demons?” 

“Oh yes, the demons. They’re holed up in the basement and use their curse to look like sunlight on water. Their demonic presence has brought all progress towards the journey to The Far Beyond to a stand still.” 

“So you just need those demons out and you’ll leave the Test Site?” 

“Yes, we must travel to the Far Beyond to meet our creator.” 

“What about that weirdo at the door?” 

“He thinks of himself as one of us. And we believe he is a key part to our journey to the Far Beyond. He is a messiah sent from the creator, as are you. You must be here for a reason. A reason the creator made.” _Right._

“Alright, alright. How many did you count?” 

“Six demons, however be wary. More demons may have been summoned since the last time we have been down there.” 

“Okay, Well do our best to get rid of them.” 

“Stop right there!- Antler it must be an assassin- What? Oh- Okay. Yes. Okay.” 

“Hi. Human.” 

“What’s going on here?” 

“I am the leader of my troops. We come here to find a- Oh yes Antler, A holotape. Said a package of stealthboys are here. Enough to supply my troops! But. There’s a ghoul, not like the other squishy ones. Tough. A crack shot. You bring stealthboys to me.” 

“I’ll bring what I find if you and your nightkin promise to leave afterwards.” 

“Yes. We will leave once we get the package human.” 

“Eat this you-!” Amari spotted a Ghoul atop a platform aiming straight for her and suddenly she found herself making contact with the floor, Boone tackled her toward cover on the side instinctively and Amari was too busy looking up at Boone with surprise that she didn’t hear the Ghoul apologize for his actions. 

“Sorry, smoothskins. I thought you were one of those mutants. You can come out now. Watch for bear traps.” 

Amari took the hand Boone offered and stood up with him. “How’d you end up stuck in here?” Was the first thing Amari asked and the ghoul laughed bitterly. 

“I’m not- Alright, yeah. I’m stuck down here. Been able to sustain myself so far pretty well but, I’d rather be on topside then down here with these idiots.” 

“I can help you get outta here if you help me.” 

“Really?” 

“Human lucky day. Antler believes human! We leave now and won’t come back. Stay out of our way human.” Boone and Amari watched Davidson grab Antler and head out of the basement, and even though they’d made a deal they readied themself for a possible ambush as they heard the many steps of more Nightkin following behind Davidson before the door of the basement opened. And all that was left was the echoes of pipes and tech sparking in the basement. 

“It’s safe now!” The ghoul walked up the stairs and towards the duo, shoulders hung low, and eyes filled with sadness. She still wished she came before she had died. If only she hadn’t waited so long to come here.. 

“We will remember you in our history of the Great Journey. You truly are a messiah! Now all we must do is find missing components for the rockets and we shall make our way with haste to the Far Beyond.” said Jason with enthusiasm. But then it hit Amari. 

“So what about Chris?” 

“We have tried to tell him he was not like us. But, he hasn’t accepted the truth of the matter. So, we allowed him to stay to utilize his scientific expertise. A gift from the creator.” Amari scrunched her face up at the last bit- finding it cruel they’d allowed him to be a strung along fool for so long. 

“You need to be forward with him. If you won’t. Then I will.” 

“I can’t believe it. You were right all along. They’ve been using me- I should- I should sabotage the rockets. That’d be a funny joke. Real _funny_.” Amari put her hands up and shook her head, “Woah, woah, come on. If they could take you they would. Jason told me so himself. The radiation would kill you in the rocket before you could even make it out of the dome.” And Chris agrees solemnly. 

“No wonder they made me instruct them from up here. I wish I’d known sooner-“ 

“It’s better late then never Chris- and look. You’re a good person, and after this you could continue doing so, if you head to the Old Mormon Fort after this. You’re bright just like them Chris. Maybe not radiation wise but.. Don’t beat yourself up.” 

“Aren’t you excited? We’re gonna see a rocket fly for crying out loud!” Amari gave Boone a playful hip thrust towards him and tempted him to give one back to her and send her flying, but he decided she’d fallen enough these past few days and gave her a break. Though his sly grin didn’t pass Amari’s eyes and she pried at him for an answer, but stopped once’s they’d reached the navigation panel since she wanted to make sure their safety was ensured. 

After adjusting the trajectory, they’d be landing 12% closer to their destination if she did the math right. With a wide smile she turned back to Boone who was leaned up against the wall smoking a cigarette. And with that she pulled the lever and suddenly some dramatic flight music started playing on the intercom, half-startling Amari as the dome began to open with the rockets lining up for its flight. 

A big ‘O’ was on Amari’s face as they took off, the small spurt of gas leaving a rocket off to the side worried her, but the sound of no crash eased her worries as she began to process what she’d seen. 

Boone didn’t see much. He didn’t outright know why she looked so much more interesting than a rocket launch, why he liked the way the rockets lit up her face like the sunrise he loved seeing up north when he still lived there with his family. Seeing her smile made him smile and he was grateful she was his friend. So grateful. 

Sometimes he wished he had certain qualities she did. One of them was her willingness to forgive, her natural ability to get people to be open to her, being able to reason with people you’d never think. He was probably just biased since she was his close friend. 

“Uhhh, Boone? You still in there or did you log out of the terminal too early?” He hears her asks and he immediately cleared his throat and flicked his cigarette out of the window and nodded his head. “Yeah I’m here. Just was thinking.” Amari gave Boone that face she’d make when someone would say something that didn’t make sense to her. 

“You were _thinking_ while a rocket was launching in front of you?” She laughed incredulously as they walked out of the building, watching for any more ferals left. Though they were sure none were left that they hadn’t killed or went on that rocket to their creator. 

“Yeah. I was.” There was the cryptic-ness again. She huffed air up towards her bangs making them do a small rise and fall. “Guess I should go tell Manny we did the job. I’m also really tired and feel like I’m gonna pass out, so sleep sounds really sexy right now.” 

“Hey Manny, I took care of that Ghoul problem at the Test Site for you.” 

“Really? Thanks. You made good on that promise. I’m glad I asked you to do it- I saw that rocket launch, what was that all about?” Amari snorted, “A group of believers traveling to see their creator. They believe me to be their messiah so.. I’m pretty damn important.” Manny laughed at that and rolled his eyes. 

“Sounds you went through a lot. Here’s some compensation.” After giving her 200 caps she was about to leave when he pulled her back, “Wait. Could I.. Could I ask you something?” 

“Something else you need?” Amari was alone with Manny in the dinosaur, and Boone didn’t exactly want to speak to Manny. 

“No, I just wanted to know..” Manny sighed, “I just wanted to know how Boone is.” Amari lifted a brow at that but deep down it made her feel bad to see an old friend guilty looking. 

“He’s.. I think he’s doing better honestly, but he’s still- I dunno- I’m sure you know what I mean by that.” Manny sighed with a frown and nodded his head. “I really wish I could apologize. I, I was so jealous and I was wrong for what I did- I made a snarky comment when he’d said Carla went missing.” Amari then screamed on the inside of her head for being right the entire time. He was jealous of what Carla and Boone had, because he loved Boone. Amari guesses maybe Boone and Manny were _almost_ a thing or maybe it was just Manny placing his friends love for him as romantic. And their friendship began on the road of sourness from envy and miscommunication. 

“That was my best friend and I messed up bad.” Manny looked to Amari and she felt like she knew what was coming. 

“Do you think you could tell him.. Tell him I’m sorry?” Amari couldn’t say no, “Yeah I could but.. Don’t expect anything from it, I don’t know what he’s gonna say about it. But I’ll gladly do that for you.” Ama gave the best close-mouthed smile she could manage since Manny looked like he was gonna cry, and added a pat on the shoulder. 

Once she entered the room she had in Novac she spotted Boone sitting in a chair by the window probably doing what he always did when he wasn’t on duty in the dinosaur. He’d seen her that day. When she walked into Novac. From his bedroom. 

Something told him to sit up from the bed, sit in his chair and look out the window. And there he saw her, minor limp and a motorcycle helmet on with her bandana tight around her forehead. Basic leather armor and an advanced robot trailing behind her. He remembered seeing the tired in her eyes, anybody could’ve seen it but who would comment on a woman’s tired look? 

No one, unless they had a death wish. 

But she turned around before she could go into the dinosaur to probably talk to Manny or shop. He’d heard the gunshots. 

And then he met her. Learned about her- after she’d learned about him she opened up more and more. Now here they were. Close friends. Struggling people in the wastes. She’d made him make more friends too- since she had a habit of picking people up in the wastes. He didn’t doubt they’d be picking someone up soon, now with the addition of Rex on travels with them sometimes. 

But now he was here again in Novac. In her room this time. He couldn’t go in his room, it hurt too much to go back in there. The floors carpet stayed stained ever since that night he returned to bloodied carpet, and torn furniture and bed sheets. 

Boone watched as Amari exited the dinosaur, yawning through her nose like usual and stretching dramatically when she was at that brink point of desperate sleep. He wondered what else she’d talked about with Manny, wondered just for the split second since that day how he was doing. But the thought never lasted long, though it was sometimes there. 

Amari greeted him with a grin and looked down at the cigarette laying in an ashtray next to him, “Gave me some caps for the job, so I’m gonna probably buy some new underclothes when we get back to Freeside and whatever you want too.” She says removing her armor plates and putting them on the nightstand on the side of the bed she was going to sleep on. 

“If I still had the energy to, we’d walk back to The Strip.” Boone sighed and lit himself another cig and out of nowhere Amari grabbed at it and took a puff for herself, but her face remained calm as she did so- he thought maybe that was her first time trying one but it seemed her muscle memory said otherwise. 

“I don’t mind staying here. Sides’ I’m tired too.” She gave the cig back to him after a few more inhales, and once he’d finished it he heard the sound of the bed creaking under weight and figured she’d be going to sleep soon. Though he’d rather keep first watch than sleep. Especially in this town. Who knows what would happen while he slept. Who knows who would enter the town at these ungodly hours. 

“You can sleep too. I highly doubt anybody will be coming here for us. Just sleep Boone.” After some more nagging he gave in and laid down, having removed his armor plates and shoes. But not his socks- in case he’d have to put them back on quickly. 

“I dunno.” Boone was still reluctant to stop keeping watch, but maybe she was right? Maybe it was okay? They had each other- and the last time anyone had tried to sneak up on them they weren’t surrounded by four walls and were out in the open. That was a big difference especially with a door between them and the outside. 

“Alright, fine.” 

Boone ended up falling asleep first- he didn’t know he was so tired in the first place so once he’d hit the pillow and started snoring Amari kept her giggles as quiet as she could and threw a throw over on him before she laid the opposite direction and went to bed soon after uninterrupted. 

_ “I know he’s out there. With the chip. It’s only a matter of time before House kicks us out of this place and I need to think fast on what I’m gonna do. House has patience but I don’t doubt he wants progress.” Arcade sighs at her words and pinched his nose. “We’ll figure out where we’ll live later. But this Benny thing? It’s affecting you. Bad. Have you ever thought of talking about it? What happened that night?”  _

_ “He.. He got away.. What more is there to talk about?”  _

_ “There’s more to this story Ama. You and I know that. But I won’t pry at you too much. Not now at least.”  _

_ “I’m sorry I couldn’t get him in time..” Amari shakily shook her head and wiped her sweaty hands on her dress,  _

_ “It’s not your fault Boone..”  _

“ _What’re you doing silly?” Carla smiled confidently at Boone, she knew a soldier boy when she sees one._

_ “How bout a dance?”  _

_ “Its okay to miss her Boone.. You don’t have to act like she was never in your life to cope. It’s okay to still love her.”  _

_ “I remember hearing from someone, that people you love will always be apart of you. To deny it could kill you.” She gave him a hug despite knowing he didn’t enjoy those really, but he enjoyed that one. It warmed his heart even.  _

Boone awoke with a soft smile on his face and pressed himself further into his pillow, Amari was already awake he could tell from the sound of the weak shower head on in the bathroom. He decided to just make something for them before they hit the road. 

That being his world famous mantis egg omelet for them both. After setting out her plate he scarfed his down the hatch, and waited for her to finish in the bathroom. 

Upon waiting for her and having a stare down with a scotch bottle in the half broken fridge he heard her, “You should clean up too— Oh, for me?” Amari made a childish face kind of like the Vault-Tec emoticon of ‘awe’ and he resisted the urge to smile. “Yes, just for you.” He says pushing the plate closer to her, out of the side of his eye he noticed her hair already becoming puffed up as it dried. 

“Oh wait- uhm..” She tugged at his sleeve to stop him before he headed into the shower. 

“I know you might not want to hear this. But Manny-“ Boone already had a frown on his face at the mention. “He just wanted you to know he’s sorry for what he said and that he just wants your forgiveness-“ 

“Manny crossed many lines after Carla. That was the last one I ever let him cross.” 

“What do you mean?..” 

“He thought because Carla was gone I’d get back together with him- said she was in the way ever since I met her. Would you forgive someone that spat on your loved ones name? Made a mockery of them after their death and proceeded to try and reel you in when you were weak? Whether he knew what he was doing or not,” He looked away from Amari’s kind eyes. “He knew us being a previous thing was already a weak point. Using Carla as a way to snake his way to my heart was- another kind of trickery.” Amari firmly pressed her lips together as so many things came to her attention. 

One being his sexuality, his romantic history, and the history finally on him and Manny. 

“I think that.. Even if you don’t want to be with him Boone, forgiving him could help you. I really do- Just because you forgive someone doesn’t mean they’re back in the old place in your heart. It just means- you’ve come to terms with what they’ve done.” She was right. She was right and he didn’t want her to be. He didn’t _hate_ Manny per say, but he knew he hurt to look at Manny seeing what became of them. Comrades-in-arms to Friends with benefits, and feelings that became entangled. Those feelings being Manny’s. Not Boone’s. They were a fling and friends. 

“Fine,” taking a deep breath and exhaling, “I forgive him for what he did. But I don’t think I would ever be able to be friends with him again.” Amari smiled and gave him an abrupt hug, “See! Doesn’t that feel great? A little less heavy here,” She pressed her index finger where his heart would be, “Right?” 

“Right.” 

“I’m finally gonna buy what I’ve been trying to get off Mick with these caps, he’s been stingy when it comes to special clothing pieces.” She says kicking rocks as they walked back. 

“Y’know I—“ 

“Ave! Capture the woman! And hang the man!”

Boone already had his rifle out and was shooting the knee caps out of the man who yelled when he was attacked from behind, using the body of his rifle to stop incoming slashes to his being. 

There were too many and the pressure of them all being close combat fighters was getting to her. Looking back at Boone she spotted him getting slashed on the shoulder by another foot soldier and she screamed out, “Boone!” But was punched in the cheek from the distraction. 

Landing on the ground with a thud she groaned. The last time she’d been punch in the face that hard was- No, she didn’t want to think about that. Boone needed help. Using Lucky she shot the foot soldier in the head giving Boone time to move away from the Centurion wielding a Sledgehammer. 

But her view swiveled as she was turned onto her back and couldn’t see him fighting anymore as she spotted two more soldiers approaching the one on top of her. “We have captured the profligate. We will report back to Vul- _Ack_!” She heard an explosion behind her ringing her ears as she saw the Frumentarii drop to the ground after being shot. 

Everything was ringing and dizzy as she spotted a figure looking over her. The blur was settling and the muffling was fading as she finally processed the persons words. 

“Come on kid! Get your ass up!” She was helped up from the ground, and felt them place her arm on their shoulder. “Who.. Ugh..” Once her senses returned to her she realized who it was. 

“Kill everyone one of em’ boys! We don’t allow them dogs on Powder Ganger turf!” Said Joe Cobb as he hauled Amari to a rock for protection. 

“Stay here kid.” 

“Not like I’m— Ow.. Goin’ anywhere..” Her eyes almost fully shut and she had to smack herself to stay awake- “Boone!” She tried getting up and groaned as she looked to her side. She was bleeding, but not enough to make her think it hit an artery. 

“Fuck is that?” Joe says shooting at another foot soldier. 

“My friend- the red NCR beret- rifle- Please help him-“ That was enough info for Joe and he was off sending his boys out to find a man with a NCR beret and bring him back. 

“We’re getting you the fuck outta here. My boys will get him don’t you worry kid- Aye!-“ Joe was knocked over and spotted the said man aiming his rifle at him. 

“Boone! No!” She says using the last of her energy to sit up straight. “He’s a friend Boone...” Boone grunted as he released his finger from the trigger and aimed his weapon away. He didn’t trust these goons. 

“You’re fuckin’ welcome asshole. And yeah so what if Imma ex-convict. There’s an ‘ex’ there for a fuckin’ reason.” Joes boys made their way back over and put two and two together. 

“Lets get these guys back to base.” 

After a blood-pack, some Med-X, and clean bandages later.. Boone and Amari were sitting in the NCRCF and Joe had finally made a visit and took a seat across from Amari- ignoring Boone who glared at him in warning. 

“What’ve you done that’s got them dogs on you kid?” 

“Hold on- You’re not gonna tell me what you were doing by there when I got attacked?” 

“We’ve been keeping the roads relatively clear of anything bad for a while now. I took over this joint after getting enough people to join up wit me. So now protecting the roads to Primm and Sloan has been our jobs now.” Amari was completely shocked to hear this. No wonder Deathclaws hadn’t been so^ bad lately. Enough gun power or explosives can kill one. 

“Wow- why the sudden change of heart?” 

“After your little talk you made me do some thinking. Real deep thinking. Thought about my baby girl. About what I did to land in jail. Murder. I murdered two of the piece of shit soldiers that gang-banged my baby in the barracks. Landed me in jail- No fuckin’ evidence they said.” Joe leaned back in his chair and shook his head. “So my daughter tried to fight my arrest and miraculously was murdered weeks after I got put in jail. What a fuckin’ coincidence. Ever since I’ve been out for blood. Any blood. Goodsprings was just the first town I’d seen. Anybody okay with those fuck heads made me angry. Made me—“ Joe Cobb released an angered breath through his nose as he glanced at Boone. “You made me realize Goodsprings had nothin’ to do with my anger. So I put my anger into killing those dog headed fuckers and monsters that tried to kill innocent people in our territory.” Amari was happy she didn’t kill Joe. 

“Well.. Wow- I don’t know what to say.” She gave a comforting smile, “Dont gotta say nothing. Just telling you more than talking. We got a trade goin’ on with some merchants to protect em’ for food, water, or caps in return. But, anyway you’re free to come and go, and all my boys know who you are so you ain’t a target if you see my guys on the road.” 

“Glad I got some friends on the road then.” 

“Yeah. I gotta get back to telling these idiots what to do so Imma get goin’. I’ll see you around kid.” 

On their way out a few men said hello and hey, but side eyed Boone at the sight of his beret. But after the orders from Joe they averted their eyes most of the time. 

“Can’t believe we got saved by convicts.” 

“ _Ex_ -convicts Boone.” 

“Same thing. They still did bad things and landed there.” 

“Joe did what he had to do for his daughter. I’m sure you would’ve done the same Boone. I know I would’ve.” 

She avoided bringing up Carla, knowing very well that would start a huge argument that didn’t need to happen. 

“Besides. Not every Convict did such terrible things- Louie was a thief that stole food from NCR croppers that wouldn’t sell to anyone _but_ NCR Soldiers to feed his people. NCR may have good people, but they have many bystanders to their ridiculous rules and actions.

“I know that. But some of them are no good ex-convicts.” 

“Whatever you say Boone.” She couldn’t believe they were arguing about this. “I can’t believe we’re arguing about something stupid like that. I think you just wanted to argue Boone.” Amari teases and Boone rolled his eyes. 

“Oh- hi-“ She had a guilty smile on her face as she was mid action of pouring a glass of wine. 

“Wanted to unwind with some uh- wine Swank gave to me as a gift.” Boone walked over silently just building up the suspense, but all he did was grab himself a wine glass. 

Boone didn’t like wine but he wouldn’t turn away a glass of alcohol. It’d been a while since he last had a drink, so he figured one after two weeks sober was alright. 

“How’d you know I was here?” She asked sipping at her glass while lounging comfortably on the lounge couch that was by the window and gave her a view of all the night lights. 

“Where else would you be at this hour?” Boone ended up liking the taste, and found himself drinking it like whiskey. 

“Maybe...” She hummed extra long before answering with a small laugh, “Nah you’re right. I’d be here.” 

Amari glanced at her Pip-Boy and saw it was almost 3am and as she was pouring herself more wine, and as she downed the rest of the wine Boone spoke up. 

“How old are you?” The question was random, but got the gears grinding in Amari’s head. Boone was 26, turned 26 before he met Amari. He knew Arcade was in his late thirties, and Veronica was a year older than him. Which she made _sure_ to remind him of during arguments. But he liked the playful banter with her, she was fucking funny. Though she’d _never_ catch him saying that out loud. 

“Mm.. I think Doc said early twenties by his estimate..” She murmurs as Boone stands up to grabs her wine glass before she can pour more and puts the bottle in the trash chute before she can even look up. 

Boone thought so. She looked young rather young, but wasn’t ever complaining about joint pain so he knew she hadn’t hit late twenties yet. So it was between 20-24. Seemed like a correct range to him, but with how intelligent she was it was a lot of knowledge for someone so young to have. Though he knew about child geniuses in the NCRs history books. So no doubts on her intelligence were there. 

“How old are you? You never told me..” She asks finally looking up from the countertop to look at him take a seat next to her again. 

“26.” Amari gasped in surprise before giggling, “I dunno why I giggled..” she leaned on her hand and smiled softly at Boone who just stared back. Not really having a response to that, not that it needed one anyway. He found himself feeling heat build up in his chest again that rose straight to his cheeks and for once he’d said what was on his mind. 

“You have a beautiful smile.” Amari just laughed at his words and pushed at Boone’s shoulder, until she realized he wasn’t joking. “Oh. I thought you were joking.” Amari was flushed even more than when the wine had hit, and found herself giggling to fill the silence. 

“I’m not. I like it.” He reassured watching as a hand came to her forehead, he figured it was the pain of a headache as usual. 

“I don’t like it- If we stayed in the Citadel longer I would’ve gotten braces, but Baba said.. Mm.. I dunno why we left.. Or my..” Suddenly she was sniffling and Boone realized she was slouching to hide the tears he caused. 

This duo both drunk and emotional was _not_ a good combo. 

“It’s okay to-“ Amari leaned her head onto the counter and whimpered as a single tear fell. “M’sorry Boone.. I don’t mean to cry.” She quickly wiped her cheek and tried to suck it all in as her lip quivered and suddenly he went off. 

“Why don’t you want to talk to me aboutanything Ama? You know almost everything about me and you never tell me a single thing.” And Amari turned to him on the swiveled seat with an angry frown. 

“There’s _nothing_ to talk about Boone.” The anger left her face, she couldn’t be mad. 

“I can help you Ama.. You always help me and you never let me _really_ help you- Do you know how irritating it is?- I help you after falling almost two stories and you get up like nothing happens?- You got slashed on the side- Punched in the face- You can be vulnerable!” Amari suddenly broke into a sob and punched his shoulder with the side of her fists out of frustration. 

“I don’t feel anything Boone- Ever since Doc prescribed me Med-X for the headaches and incision pains I’ve been hooked- I’m- If I didn’t have Med-X in my system I would’ve been way more hurt...” They we’re both too drunk for this conversation that neither of them would remember fully when they woke up. 

“You what?..” Boone stood up and reached out for her.

“I’m..” She felt her stomach curling and head spinning, “I’m addicted to it..” Amari said it with disgust and remorse. It was the first time she was admitting it out loud. But it was true. She was addicted to it. The only time she could live or really forget was if she was on the Med-X. The only time she could sleep was on Med-X. 

“I can’t sleep without Med-X or..” Amari shook her head unable to admit it verbally and instead removed herself from the stool to go back to her room and Boone pulled her back scaring her just a little as he held onto her wrists. 

“Tell me.” Boone’s tone was that of a beggars, desperate to know how he could help his friend. 

“Its you..” She murmurs, “I feel horrible for saying it. I know it’s disgusting to depend on someone like they depend on a drug- I’m a fucking idiot I know-“ Boone shushed her asking her to look at him with her glassy eyes. 

“You’re my friend Ama. If you think I would hate you for depending on me.. You’re insane. I’m supposed to be dependable.” Boone gently pulled her into his arms and stroked the back of her head as she cried from his heartfelt words. 

“I care about you...” He lingered on that thought for a little but continued on, “And so does Arcade, Veronica and Raul. _Don’t_ forget that.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the chapter i made without making the previous two first i rlly like this chapter bc it includes things i struggle with writing and i think i did ok on this one. 
> 
> boone b like: bro if u were to ever get hurt i would go crazy.  
> amari: bro ;(
> 
> amari: you can be vulnerable with me and cuddle with me bro  
> boone: aw bro ();
> 
> They’ll figure it out sooner or later. One sooner than the other. A new character may enter the folds soon...


	12. this part of me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> amari learns something new.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh yeah. i finally fucking update this lol. i wanted to take my time with this even tho its a short chapter, i wanted to get it right. hope u enjoy! also this chapter will go hand in hand with the next so the topic wONT go untalked abt :)

“Those Deathclaws better not be coming back anytime soon. I think I’m starting to really feel my age now.” Admits Arcade and Raul just laugh unironically while stretching out his own aching knees. 

“Oh relax Arcade, it’s just a couple more minutes before we make it.” Says Veronica, looking forward at Boone whose shoulders were shaking with a little laughter. Whatever Amari said must’ve been funny to him, since it took a lot for Veronica to get that tight shell open just a crack. 

“Your jokes don’t even make sense..” 

“They make way more sense than yours.” 

“Right. Who exactly is Bobba and why is he- The hell did you say oh- boy?” Amari snorted at the way he said it all and punched him playfully in the side. 

“Home swe~et home.” Says Amari as they enter the home that was coming together beautifully in Amari's mind. This Rangers home was well spaced and hooked up to a windmill with Goodspring's water system connected. Everything was morally good in her eyes. 

Now it just needed their touches. 

It wasn’t as extravagant as the Lucky 38, but after some rearranging, moving, and building during Amari's free time with whoever was with her at the time helped. It really felt like home. And Amari was preparing for the day they had to leave the Lucky 38. Even though Swank offered her a place in the Tops she didn’t feel like it could truly be a home. 

At least here in this old Rangers home, it wasn’t overbearing with red everywhere and velvet bullshit. She **hated** red and velvet. _Especially_ velvet. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“I’m gonna make gecko steak with batatas tonight.” Says Raul after returning from purchasing things from the new farmers market in Goodspring's they’ve recently created after getting some people from Sloan moving into the old school and making a home out of it for the miners. 

The small town was coming along. 

“Did you get maize?” Veronica says after twisting the last fixed bulb in the ceiling of the shared kitchen to living room space. 

“Yup.” Amari peeked her head out of the room she was cleaning after hearing Raul was finally making her favorite only her eyes visible from around the corner causing the duo to crack up with laughter. 

“Mija why don’t you come make it with me.” 

“Alright- gimme a second.” 

Amari quickly went back into the room to finish the Christmas lights she was setting up with Boone’s help. 

“Hold this please.” After handing off the rest of the nails she picked the hammer back up, “Never would’ve thought to use Christmas lights for anything but Christmas.” Says Boone as he hands her the next nail to hold them up. 

“I may not remember most of my past but.. Something tells me I used to have them in my bedroom,” She shrugged hanging the next link-up. “It's a feeling more than anything..” Amari says stretching as far as she could on the stool to reach the corner, but misstepped on the stool causing her to put her arms out expecting to fall- 

“Oh-! Thanks-“ Amari didn’t think he’d hold her in place when he saw the stumble in her balance, but there he was holding her by the hips as she stood up on her toes nailing the last one into the wall. For some reason a weird heat blossomed under his touch, her shoulders stiffened from its unfamiliarity.

Boone didn’t really **mean** to do it, but he did- and almost let go of her when he heard the way she gasped almost like he’d scared her, “Did I scare you?” He asked after she came down from the top of the stool and the fear that was physically shrinking his chest to a pulp. 

Amari was taken back at how soft his voice had gotten and felt the air thicken with high anxiety as her own voice came out the same way, “No?” It came out like a question but it wasn’t a lie. The way it came out clearly made Boone take a tentative step forward. 

“No?..” 

“It’s okay, I just didn’t expect that.” 

“You don’t have to deny if I made you uncomfortable..” 

“Well- I..” Amari shrugged 

_‘Your touch left burns on that part of my body’ doesn’t sound like the most reassuring.._

“Are you coming or not Amari!” Raul was turning the corner as he said this and for some reason, Amari and Boone separated, when they weren’t really doing anything other than talking- it was just all in their heads. 

“You both look like you saw La Llorona or something.” Comments Raul, as Amari was already leaving to go cook with him, “Oh shut up Ra. You just startled us.” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“I dunno.. It’s just- muscle memory,” Says Amari as she spun the knife swiftly between her fingers without a nic, before continuing to slice the meat neatly. “A lot of things are just muscle memory to me at this point..” Raul saw the sad glint in her eyes as she said that but hid it from her voice. 

_Touchy subject. Got it._

“If it's any consolation Mija, I’m old as hell and sometimes find myself forgetting basic things about me. Or maybe that’s just the ghoul part- I dunno..” 

_Damn. Self-deprecation is not helping._

“Hey you did most of the work, why don’t you go get everyone to come to eat?” This wasn’t a big house but she knew it was to distract her and she accepted that trivial task. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_Okay so.. Where the heck did everyone go?_

She found Veronica playing fetch with Rex outside and ED-E mimicking Rex right outside the home, so at least she was the easiest to find out of them all. 

“Oh yeah, baby. Some juicy _ste~ak_ , Oh I think Arcade is actually inside. Probably in the bathroom. Boone went for a walk that way, he didn’t feel like telling me where he was going-“ Veronica sighs, “They grow up so fast..” Amari just snorted and walked past her with Rex almost following her but Veronica made kissy noises and he heard ‘treat’ as well so he, of course, went back inside. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Boone!” She calls out, walking down the small man-made canyon-like path and down towards the gas station and Doc Mitchell’s house. Amari loved the location of the house- it gave a full view of Goodsprings, and it wasn’t a bad one either. To her at least. 

He must’ve been at the Saloon getting his ear chatted off by Trudy, or aimlessly walking. She bet money on the Saloon, knowing it’d been a while since he’d had some alcohol. The same went for her with Med-X. 

“B—!” Amari paused as a light shone in her eyes, reflecting the setting sun into her eyes. She followed the shining to the ground and picked it up-right by the saloon. It had dirt on it and seemed to have been almost one with the dirt, if she’d stepped on it, it would’ve really been buried. 

Rubbing her thumbs onto the pendant, she cleaned it up to the best of her ability but it had dirt in the grooves and she needed a sponge to clean the rest off. It was a gold necklace with a round pendant. Maybe she’d get some caps for it- or just re-present it. 

Finding no patience in her body she used her knife to get the dirt out of the grooves and stared intently at the pendant. 

_It doesn’t make any sense... Oh!_

She blushed to herself as she turned it right side up. 

Suddenly feeling a heat engulf her entire body. Rattling from the inside as she watched. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**“Alright, class. Today we are going to—“**

**The doors suddenly opened, Amari whipped around in her seat as did her classmates. The shadows revealed the Brotherhood of Steel soldiers.**

_**Ma finally convinced them? But she said she was going to try and convince them next week?** _

**“Ad Victoriam, scum!”**

**_Oh no-_ **

**Quickly Amari laid flat on the floor for cover and remembered her mother’s training.**

**_I need an exit. They’re blocking the doorway. Vents!_ **

**The Gatling lasers started and that’s when the gut curdling screams stopped her in her tracks to enter the floor vent. But her shaky hands relented and yanked the last screw out before dropping inside and pulling the top with her. Listening as some turned to ash, and some cried- begged- for mercy.**

**_That was my classroom. How could they-_**

**Amari didn’t remember how she got to her mother but here she was. Cradling her head in her arms.**

**“Go find Aunt Madison..”**

**“But- I thought we- I thought they were gonna-“**

**“Our Elder is too greedy.. Doesn’t _want_ to share new technology. Leaving the Brotherhood when I got pregnant put an even bigger target to attack the Shi..” Suddenly her mother coughed up blood. “I should’ve tried to take the Elder title away from him..” Amari wiped the blood as best as she could, and was going to say something till they were interrupted by loud practiced footsteps incoming in the halls. **

**Mother grabbed her face and hand. Placing something in her hand as she spoke.**

**“Go East with Aunt Madison- Maybe that chapter will be more... more forgiving..”**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Amari remembered now... Her mother- her death. But there were holes in everything still and it made her death feel fresh in her heart as the realizations hit. 

The Shi. The Brotherhood Of Steel. 

Nothing but her mother’s untimely death, and the attack on a Shi home base came with the remembrance of the symbol.

Flipping the pendant around, it was just more engravings on it, and then she saw it. 

Her name in her handwriting,

**Amari Rosé Li.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> incase anyone had any questions abt who the hell the Shi they were a technologically advanced faction (p big) in san franciso and you meet them in fallout 2. and in that plot of fallout 2 the brotherhood destroyed a home of the shi and killed many bright minds because of their greed and realization as to how advanced they were (they were surpassing them in advancements, and even the hubologists which they hate). ill b going more in depth abt them in this story :)

**Author's Note:**

> feedback welcome :)


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